Obama's Book Club

Move over Oprah--there's a new book club in town... But for the smart & wonky set. Same literary windfall for the "chosen" few. But without the hankie-wringers. And everything is pretty much snark-proof (Jonathan Franzen would not dis this endorsement). As Publishers once spoke of "The Oprah Effect", they will soon speak of "The Obama Effect." And here are the latest two beneficiaries of a plug by Obama:

Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's about Lincoln's presidency, and how he packed his Cabinet with his rivals (not literally, of course. Lincoln didn't chop up his rivals and store them in the chifforobe, if that's where your sick mind was headed, Rahm Emanuel). Every politico and pundit is racing to the bookstore for this one, thinking it will be the key to unlocking Obama's nefarious plans for his administration... or at least explain why Obama would ever choose Hillary for Secretary of State (I'm still trying to figure that one out... but then I keep getting sidetracked by the thought of "Where's Willy?", a game I do not want to play--does anyone? Personally, I got enough of that old game during my days as a White House Intern... (not really)).

The Defining Moment: F D R’s Hundred Days and the Triumph of Hope, by Jonathan Alter. The lucky author who got a plug from Obama on 60 Minutes last Sunday. The New York Times has an (unintentionally) funny piece about how three different writers/publishers of a soon-to-be-released book on FDR almost wet themselves watching 60 Minutes, wondering if theirs was the book Obama was reading and about to name before a nationwide televised audience...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/18/books/18book.html?em

Clearly, the man reads... and a lot. And publishers obviously send Obama advance copies of books all the time. But I'm a little worried about this Obama Effect... Is the desk in the Oval Office going to be buried under unsolicited manuscripts? Did we just trade in a President who doesn't read at all for a President who maybe reads too much? Will Obama be nose-deep in the latest by Ken Follet while Putin invades Alaska? Is this why some evangelicals suspect Obama is really the Antichrist? Because a black man who reads lots of really smart books... well, he must be the Antichrist. Clearly.

And if there is an "Obama Effect," might there also be a "Reverse-Obama Effect"? The evidence suggests there is:

Das Kapital by Karl Marx. Joe the Plumber, you have nooo idea what you did for Karl Marx's book sales... and how amused Karl Marx is, wherever he is. Because your thoughtless use of the word "Socialist" has led to a worldwide surge in book sales (not to mention tons of "capital") for that old German socialist... communist... whatever. For real. (I know it's hard to tell with me, sometimes.) But not to be outdone, Joe has written(!) a new book, Joe The Plumber: Fighting For The American Dream, available "exclusively" through his incredibly stupid new website: http://www.secureourdream.com/html/store.php?content_id=9&nav_id=7&

Book of Collected Wisdom of Sarah Palin, by Russell Blackstone. Apparently, Sarah Palin is about to sign a $7 million book deal (WTF?!!). In the meantime, though, there's this 120-page book... which, um, does have 100 blank pages in it, just so you know. You can buy it here: http://books.cafepress.com/item/book-of-collected-wisdom-of-sarah-palin/304373749

Overheard Between Putin and Sarkozy

This real exchange between Vladimir Putin and Nicolas Sarkozy is too funny not to share. It happened last August when Sarkozy flew to Moscow to convince Putin not to overthrow Saakashvili, the President of Georgia:

PUTIN:

I am going to hang Saakashvili by the balls.

SARKOZY:

Hang him?

PUTIN:
Why not? The Americans hanged Saddam Hussein.

SARKOZY:
Yes but do you want to end up like Bush?

(a beat)

PUTIN:
Ah, you have scored a point there.

Hehe... Diplomatic relations between world leaders can be so funny/stupid... Who knew?

Here's my source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article5147422.ece

Fast Times At Global High

Jae C. Hong/AP

Oh. my. dorkiness. This is why the French should stick to being French, rather than try to pull off American "cool" (or the French idea of American cool, anyway--um, Nicolas, no one in America thinks Fonzie is cool anymore. Aaaayhh!). No wonder Sarkozy's opponents in France snarkily refer to him as "Sarkozy the American." And is Sarkozy trying to, like, hold Obama's hand, there?!

The way Sarkozy keeps tripping all over himself to get closer to "my buddy, Obama"... So High School, isn't it? It's like, Obama's the cool new kid, and Sarkozy is the geek who tries waay too hard, and is desperate to get Obama to sit at his table during Lunch. Oh Nicolas...

When "Pitbulls" Turn Whiny...

So now it's the bloggers' fault, eh? Well, according to Sarah Palin, all her woes are due to us "bloggers in their parents' basement, just talking garbage." Wow--Look who's being "nasty" and "mean-spirited" now... (But don't worry, Matt Drudge, she didn't mean you--your garbage is exempt, clearly.)

Actually, I wish my parents had a basement (as if they'd ever let me stay there, even if they did). It would certainly take me back to those wood-panelled scenes-of-seduction from my high school days... when Led Zeppelin played on the stereo, and the lava-lamps were all aglow...

Nice try, Sarah. But it can't be everyone else's fault, all the time... can it? Don't they teach you in the Pentecostal Church to, um, look within? Like, ever?

What Science Can Teach You About Love

1) Avoid the crowded Speed-Dating events: If you're stronger in substance than surface-appeal, that is. Because the larger the group, the more likely humans are to rely on crude approaches to picking a mate--in other words, they go for looks. Pretty much every time. So the witty-but-plain wallflowers will stay wallflowers, while the "lookers" in the group suck up all the attention--it's like high school, all over again... (sigh). In smaller groups, though, people are more willing to consider and trade-off different qualities in prospective mates--like physical attractiveness for, say, personality.

2) Women: Don't ask your women friends to set you up: Why? Sexual Competition for Mates. Studies show that women of childbearing age hate a pretty face... and will rate you as less attractive than you actually are. If you're of childbearing age, that is. If you're menopausal, they don't give a sh*t, and will rate your looks fairly.

3) Men: Don't be lazy lovers: It pays to woo... if you're a male redback spider anyway. Because female redback spiders kill and eat male suitors that go for the quick-sex instead of an extended courtship. True, the female always starts to eat the male during copulation... but if that male took the time to woo (by plucking her web and beating on her abdomen--??!), she'll let him escape (after a quick nibble) 90% of the time... so that they can have another go at it, maybe, in the future.

4) Beware of singing musicians: For male finches, it's the singing itself to a potential mate that gives them a sense of euphoria... and the kind of high we humans get from drugs and alcohol and, well, sex. Singing solo doesn't do it, either--they need a cute "bird" to sing to (ha). Any bird, probably. (I knew it! No wonder why I've been less than lucky with those heart-breakin' front-men I've known...)

Read the science for yourself here: http://www.newscientist.com/topic/love

I Hope Obama Doesn't Get Mad At Me...

But from what I've read, Obama wants to make Washington more "wired" for the express purpose of making our Government the transparent one it purports to be. Towards that end, let me point out the conflicts-of-interest inherent in the proposed Bailout for the Big Three Auto-Makers:

The unions are one of the core constituencies of the Democratic Party. The UAW (United Auto Workers) does not want the Big Three to crash or file for bankruptcy. Because if that happened, the Big Three wouldn't be able to make good on the wages, pensions, and other benefits the UAW has negotiated for its workers. I'm sure the UAW is lobbying hard right now for this proposed bailout...

And some Democrats may be tempted to back this proposed bailout mainly to curry favor with the voters of manufacturing-heavy, blue-collar states like Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania--all of which went Blue this past election. If the elected representatives from those states want to fight for this proposed bailout on behalf of their electorate, that's fine with me. What's not fine with me, however, is if the Democratic Party as a whole backs this bailout because it's more concerned about protecting its position in future elections than with the overall financial health of this nation.

I'm not saying that's necessarily what's happening here. But I just want everyone to factor in these conflicts-of-interest when forming their own opinions on this proposed bailout. Because this isn't just our current financial well-being at stake, here--in reality, we are paying for these bailouts using the credit cards of our children, so to speak. We can't keep doing that--we just can't. Let those kids get into their own credit card debt, if they do--because that's the American way...

A Man of Mixed Metaphors

Penny for your thoughts, Rahm?

Or... maybe I could just, um, tuck this crisp $20 into your--

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but the new White House Chief of Staff is starting to look reeeally sexy to me... I know, I know--he's short, and funny looking, and missing a finger... and he's not even the good-looking brother (supposedly that's his younger, taller brother Ari, the Hollywood agent). But Rahm... he's got a little sumthin'-sumthin'... And would you look at those eyes? Those devilish, devilish eyes? And that's a stripper-smile, if ever I've seen one...

But maybe the hottest thing of all (for me, anyway), he's famous for mangling the English language with the most mixed-up mix of mixed-metaphors, and at a rapid-fire pace--see, he's even, like, my linguistic soul mate! "Rahmbonics" is the term coined by his friends and colleagues to describe Rahm's "creative" use of language. Here are some examples:

"He'd say something like you can't kick a field goal in the ninth inning," recalls Jake Siewert, a longtime friend and former Clinton press secretary.

"We have to slam shut the revolving door between drugs and crime."--Rahm Emanuel

To Bob Schieffer on "Face the Nation": "We had a crisis, we kicked it down the can. These are – just taking those two examples, these are crises you can no longer afford to kick down the can. The crisis we have here, the American people know we have one and they are ready and willing to start to tackle those problems. You cannot afford now to kick those down the can any longer."

To "This Week" host, George Stephanopoulos: "So this provides an opportunity to finally tackle the issues that for too long have been postponed, kicked down the road – kicked down the road, basically."

OK, so he's a little "Rainman" in his use of language, as well as rather "Rambo" in personality and style... But it works (growl)--for this weirdo blogger anyway...

Obama may be the Cary Grant of The West Wing... but this salt-n-peppa unlikely hottie just may be the Jon-Stewart-esque sleeper in that getting-sexier-by-the-day Wing...

Here's my source: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1108/15510.html

Sometimes A Bankruptcy Is Better Than A Bailout

Every family has one: that perpetual-screw-up relative who incessantly asks for a Bailout (then blows the money on Lottery tickets, or the latest get-rich-quick scheme, or whatever). And as long as you keep giving it to them, they'll keep asking... and never learn how to make it on their own.

The Investment Banks, the Big Three Auto-Makers, AmEx, maybe even DHL now--where's it going to end? Who'll be next to play Great-Depression-Era starving urchin before Congress, begging for a handout (or at least some more gruel...) According to the WSJ, as many as 52 companies are now on track to collect bailout money.

Well. Some experts say that a Bankruptcy Reorganization may actually be a better option in the long-run for some of these faltering institutions. AIG is one such named example. And they've already burned through their original bailout funds and are now asking for more... as though we taxpayers even had it to give. And the fact that AIG continues to engender more bad PR by hosting events/meetings at spa-like settings (except that now they instruct those spas and whatnot to keep AIG's name hush-hush)... So stoopid. It would be far better, AIG (from a PR perspective anyway), to stop with the $400 business-meals and stuff, and maybe get your ladies-who-lunch wives to throw a Potluck Fundraising Event or something... or at least pack you a brown-bag lunch. Just a thought.

And if you need a bailout, you better hurry up and stand on line... because they're going faster than tickets to Obama's Inauguration.

Here are some previous posts of mine on this topic:
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/bailout-for-us-auto-makers.html
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/calling-bullsht-on-bailout-part-1.html
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/treasury-department-redacts-bailout.html