Move over Oprah--there's a new book club in town... But for the smart & wonky set. Same literary windfall for the "chosen" few. But without the hankie-wringers. And everything is pretty much snark-proof (Jonathan Franzen would not dis this endorsement). As Publishers once spoke of "The Oprah Effect", they will soon speak of "The Obama Effect." And here are the latest two beneficiaries of a plug by Obama:
Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's about Lincoln's presidency, and how he packed his Cabinet with his rivals (not literally, of course. Lincoln didn't chop up his rivals and store them in the chifforobe, if that's where your sick mind was headed, Rahm Emanuel). Every politico and pundit is racing to the bookstore for this one, thinking it will be the key to unlocking Obama's nefarious plans for his administration... or at least explain why Obama would ever choose Hillary for Secretary of State (I'm still trying to figure that one out... but then I keep getting sidetracked by the thought of "Where's Willy?", a game I do not want to play--does anyone? Personally, I got enough of that old game during my days as a White House Intern... (not really)).
The Defining Moment: F D R’s Hundred Days and the Triumph of Hope, by Jonathan Alter. The lucky author who got a plug from Obama on 60 Minutes last Sunday. The New York Times has an (unintentionally) funny piece about how three different writers/publishers of a soon-to-be-released book on FDR almost wet themselves watching 60 Minutes, wondering if theirs was the book Obama was reading and about to name before a nationwide televised audience...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/18/books/18book.html?em
Clearly, the man reads... and a lot. And publishers obviously send Obama advance copies of books all the time. But I'm a little worried about this Obama Effect... Is the desk in the Oval Office going to be buried under unsolicited manuscripts? Did we just trade in a President who doesn't read at all for a President who maybe reads too much? Will Obama be nose-deep in the latest by Ken Follet while Putin invades Alaska? Is this why some evangelicals suspect Obama is really the Antichrist? Because a black man who reads lots of really smart books... well, he must be the Antichrist. Clearly.
And if there is an "Obama Effect," might there also be a "Reverse-Obama Effect"? The evidence suggests there is:
Das Kapital by Karl Marx. Joe the Plumber, you have nooo idea what you did for Karl Marx's book sales... and how amused Karl Marx is, wherever he is. Because your thoughtless use of the word "Socialist" has led to a worldwide surge in book sales (not to mention tons of "capital") for that old German socialist... communist... whatever. For real. (I know it's hard to tell with me, sometimes.) But not to be outdone, Joe has written(!) a new book, Joe The Plumber: Fighting For The American Dream, available "exclusively" through his incredibly stupid new website: http://www.secureourdream.com/html/store.php?content_id=9&nav_id=7&
Book of Collected Wisdom of Sarah Palin, by Russell Blackstone. Apparently, Sarah Palin is about to sign a $7 million book deal (WTF?!!). In the meantime, though, there's this 120-page book... which, um, does have 100 blank pages in it, just so you know. You can buy it here: http://books.cafepress.com/item/book-of-collected-wisdom-of-sarah-palin/304373749
17 November 2008
13 November 2008
Overheard Between Putin and Sarkozy
This real exchange between Vladimir Putin and Nicolas Sarkozy is too funny not to share. It happened last August when Sarkozy flew to Moscow to convince Putin not to overthrow Saakashvili, the President of Georgia:
SARKOZY:
Hehe... Diplomatic relations between world leaders can be so funny/stupid... Who knew?
Here's my source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article5147422.ece
PUTIN:
I am going to hang Saakashvili by the balls.
SARKOZY:
Hang him?
PUTIN:
Why not? The Americans hanged Saddam Hussein.
Why not? The Americans hanged Saddam Hussein.
SARKOZY:
Yes but do you want to end up like Bush?
Yes but do you want to end up like Bush?
(a beat)
PUTIN:
Ah, you have scored a point there.
Ah, you have scored a point there.
Hehe... Diplomatic relations between world leaders can be so funny/stupid... Who knew?
Here's my source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article5147422.ece
Fast Times At Global High
Jae C. Hong/AP
Oh. my. dorkiness. This is why the French should stick to being French, rather than try to pull off American "cool" (or the French idea of American cool, anyway--um, Nicolas, no one in America thinks Fonzie is cool anymore. Aaaayhh!). No wonder Sarkozy's opponents in France snarkily refer to him as "Sarkozy the American." And is Sarkozy trying to, like, hold Obama's hand, there?!
The way Sarkozy keeps tripping all over himself to get closer to "my buddy, Obama"... So High School, isn't it? It's like, Obama's the cool new kid, and Sarkozy is the geek who tries waay too hard, and is desperate to get Obama to sit at his table during Lunch. Oh Nicolas...
When "Pitbulls" Turn Whiny...
So now it's the bloggers' fault, eh? Well, according to Sarah Palin, all her woes are due to us "bloggers in their parents' basement, just talking garbage." Wow--Look who's being "nasty" and "mean-spirited" now... (But don't worry, Matt Drudge, she didn't mean you--your garbage is exempt, clearly.)
Actually, I wish my parents had a basement (as if they'd ever let me stay there, even if they did). It would certainly take me back to those wood-panelled scenes-of-seduction from my high school days... when Led Zeppelin played on the stereo, and the lava-lamps were all aglow...
Nice try, Sarah. But it can't be everyone else's fault, all the time... can it? Don't they teach you in the Pentecostal Church to, um, look within? Like, ever?
Actually, I wish my parents had a basement (as if they'd ever let me stay there, even if they did). It would certainly take me back to those wood-panelled scenes-of-seduction from my high school days... when Led Zeppelin played on the stereo, and the lava-lamps were all aglow...
Nice try, Sarah. But it can't be everyone else's fault, all the time... can it? Don't they teach you in the Pentecostal Church to, um, look within? Like, ever?
What Science Can Teach You About Love
1) Avoid the crowded Speed-Dating events: If you're stronger in substance than surface-appeal, that is. Because the larger the group, the more likely humans are to rely on crude approaches to picking a mate--in other words, they go for looks. Pretty much every time. So the witty-but-plain wallflowers will stay wallflowers, while the "lookers" in the group suck up all the attention--it's like high school, all over again... (sigh). In smaller groups, though, people are more willing to consider and trade-off different qualities in prospective mates--like physical attractiveness for, say, personality.
2) Women: Don't ask your women friends to set you up: Why? Sexual Competition for Mates. Studies show that women of childbearing age hate a pretty face... and will rate you as less attractive than you actually are. If you're of childbearing age, that is. If you're menopausal, they don't give a sh*t, and will rate your looks fairly.
3) Men: Don't be lazy lovers: It pays to woo... if you're a male redback spider anyway. Because female redback spiders kill and eat male suitors that go for the quick-sex instead of an extended courtship. True, the female always starts to eat the male during copulation... but if that male took the time to woo (by plucking her web and beating on her abdomen--??!), she'll let him escape (after a quick nibble) 90% of the time... so that they can have another go at it, maybe, in the future.
4) Beware of singing musicians: For male finches, it's the singing itself to a potential mate that gives them a sense of euphoria... and the kind of high we humans get from drugs and alcohol and, well, sex. Singing solo doesn't do it, either--they need a cute "bird" to sing to (ha). Any bird, probably. (I knew it! No wonder why I've been less than lucky with those heart-breakin' front-men I've known...)
Read the science for yourself here: http://www.newscientist.com/topic/love
2) Women: Don't ask your women friends to set you up: Why? Sexual Competition for Mates. Studies show that women of childbearing age hate a pretty face... and will rate you as less attractive than you actually are. If you're of childbearing age, that is. If you're menopausal, they don't give a sh*t, and will rate your looks fairly.
3) Men: Don't be lazy lovers: It pays to woo... if you're a male redback spider anyway. Because female redback spiders kill and eat male suitors that go for the quick-sex instead of an extended courtship. True, the female always starts to eat the male during copulation... but if that male took the time to woo (by plucking her web and beating on her abdomen--??!), she'll let him escape (after a quick nibble) 90% of the time... so that they can have another go at it, maybe, in the future.
4) Beware of singing musicians: For male finches, it's the singing itself to a potential mate that gives them a sense of euphoria... and the kind of high we humans get from drugs and alcohol and, well, sex. Singing solo doesn't do it, either--they need a cute "bird" to sing to (ha). Any bird, probably. (I knew it! No wonder why I've been less than lucky with those heart-breakin' front-men I've known...)
Read the science for yourself here: http://www.newscientist.com/topic/love
I Hope Obama Doesn't Get Mad At Me...
But from what I've read, Obama wants to make Washington more "wired" for the express purpose of making our Government the transparent one it purports to be. Towards that end, let me point out the conflicts-of-interest inherent in the proposed Bailout for the Big Three Auto-Makers:
The unions are one of the core constituencies of the Democratic Party. The UAW (United Auto Workers) does not want the Big Three to crash or file for bankruptcy. Because if that happened, the Big Three wouldn't be able to make good on the wages, pensions, and other benefits the UAW has negotiated for its workers. I'm sure the UAW is lobbying hard right now for this proposed bailout...
And some Democrats may be tempted to back this proposed bailout mainly to curry favor with the voters of manufacturing-heavy, blue-collar states like Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania--all of which went Blue this past election. If the elected representatives from those states want to fight for this proposed bailout on behalf of their electorate, that's fine with me. What's not fine with me, however, is if the Democratic Party as a whole backs this bailout because it's more concerned about protecting its position in future elections than with the overall financial health of this nation.
I'm not saying that's necessarily what's happening here. But I just want everyone to factor in these conflicts-of-interest when forming their own opinions on this proposed bailout. Because this isn't just our current financial well-being at stake, here--in reality, we are paying for these bailouts using the credit cards of our children, so to speak. We can't keep doing that--we just can't. Let those kids get into their own credit card debt, if they do--because that's the American way...
The unions are one of the core constituencies of the Democratic Party. The UAW (United Auto Workers) does not want the Big Three to crash or file for bankruptcy. Because if that happened, the Big Three wouldn't be able to make good on the wages, pensions, and other benefits the UAW has negotiated for its workers. I'm sure the UAW is lobbying hard right now for this proposed bailout...
And some Democrats may be tempted to back this proposed bailout mainly to curry favor with the voters of manufacturing-heavy, blue-collar states like Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania--all of which went Blue this past election. If the elected representatives from those states want to fight for this proposed bailout on behalf of their electorate, that's fine with me. What's not fine with me, however, is if the Democratic Party as a whole backs this bailout because it's more concerned about protecting its position in future elections than with the overall financial health of this nation.
I'm not saying that's necessarily what's happening here. But I just want everyone to factor in these conflicts-of-interest when forming their own opinions on this proposed bailout. Because this isn't just our current financial well-being at stake, here--in reality, we are paying for these bailouts using the credit cards of our children, so to speak. We can't keep doing that--we just can't. Let those kids get into their own credit card debt, if they do--because that's the American way...
12 November 2008
A Man of Mixed Metaphors
Penny for your thoughts, Rahm? Or... maybe I could just, um, tuck this crisp $20 into your--
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but the new White House Chief of Staff is starting to look reeeally sexy to me... I know, I know--he's short, and funny looking, and missing a finger... and he's not even the good-looking brother (supposedly that's his younger, taller brother Ari, the Hollywood agent). But Rahm... he's got a little sumthin'-sumthin'... And would you look at those eyes? Those devilish, devilish eyes? And that's a stripper-smile, if ever I've seen one...But maybe the hottest thing of all (for me, anyway), he's famous for mangling the English language with the most mixed-up mix of mixed-metaphors, and at a rapid-fire pace--see, he's even, like, my linguistic soul mate! "Rahmbonics" is the term coined by his friends and colleagues to describe Rahm's "creative" use of language. Here are some examples:
"He'd say something like you can't kick a field goal in the ninth inning," recalls Jake Siewert, a longtime friend and former Clinton press secretary.
"We have to slam shut the revolving door between drugs and crime."--Rahm Emanuel
To Bob Schieffer on "Face the Nation": "We had a crisis, we kicked it down the can. These are – just taking those two examples, these are crises you can no longer afford to kick down the can. The crisis we have here, the American people know we have one and they are ready and willing to start to tackle those problems. You cannot afford now to kick those down the can any longer."
To "This Week" host, George Stephanopoulos: "So this provides an opportunity to finally tackle the issues that for too long have been postponed, kicked down the road – kicked down the road, basically."
OK, so he's a little "Rainman" in his use of language, as well as rather "Rambo" in personality and style... But it works (growl)--for this weirdo blogger anyway...
Obama may be the Cary Grant of The West Wing... but this salt-n-peppa unlikely hottie just may be the Jon-Stewart-esque sleeper in that getting-sexier-by-the-day Wing...
Here's my source: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1108/15510.html
Sometimes A Bankruptcy Is Better Than A Bailout
Every family has one: that perpetual-screw-up relative who incessantly asks for a Bailout (then blows the money on Lottery tickets, or the latest get-rich-quick scheme, or whatever). And as long as you keep giving it to them, they'll keep asking... and never learn how to make it on their own.
The Investment Banks, the Big Three Auto-Makers, AmEx, maybe even DHL now--where's it going to end? Who'll be next to play Great-Depression-Era starving urchin before Congress, begging for a handout (or at least some more gruel...) According to the WSJ, as many as 52 companies are now on track to collect bailout money.
Well. Some experts say that a Bankruptcy Reorganization may actually be a better option in the long-run for some of these faltering institutions. AIG is one such named example. And they've already burned through their original bailout funds and are now asking for more... as though we taxpayers even had it to give. And the fact that AIG continues to engender more bad PR by hosting events/meetings at spa-like settings (except that now they instruct those spas and whatnot to keep AIG's name hush-hush)... So stoopid. It would be far better, AIG (from a PR perspective anyway), to stop with the $400 business-meals and stuff, and maybe get your ladies-who-lunch wives to throw a Potluck Fundraising Event or something... or at least pack you a brown-bag lunch. Just a thought.
And if you need a bailout, you better hurry up and stand on line... because they're going faster than tickets to Obama's Inauguration.
Here are some previous posts of mine on this topic:
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/bailout-for-us-auto-makers.html
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/calling-bullsht-on-bailout-part-1.html
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/treasury-department-redacts-bailout.html
The Investment Banks, the Big Three Auto-Makers, AmEx, maybe even DHL now--where's it going to end? Who'll be next to play Great-Depression-Era starving urchin before Congress, begging for a handout (or at least some more gruel...) According to the WSJ, as many as 52 companies are now on track to collect bailout money.
Well. Some experts say that a Bankruptcy Reorganization may actually be a better option in the long-run for some of these faltering institutions. AIG is one such named example. And they've already burned through their original bailout funds and are now asking for more... as though we taxpayers even had it to give. And the fact that AIG continues to engender more bad PR by hosting events/meetings at spa-like settings (except that now they instruct those spas and whatnot to keep AIG's name hush-hush)... So stoopid. It would be far better, AIG (from a PR perspective anyway), to stop with the $400 business-meals and stuff, and maybe get your ladies-who-lunch wives to throw a Potluck Fundraising Event or something... or at least pack you a brown-bag lunch. Just a thought.
And if you need a bailout, you better hurry up and stand on line... because they're going faster than tickets to Obama's Inauguration.
Here are some previous posts of mine on this topic:
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/bailout-for-us-auto-makers.html
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/calling-bullsht-on-bailout-part-1.html
http://theadventuresofwonk.blogspot.com/2008/10/treasury-department-redacts-bailout.html
11 November 2008
How To Repair Your Image Using The Same Media You Once Shunned
I know, I know... I keep saying I'm not going to talk about Sarah Palin anymore. But she keeps invading my airwaves the way Putin supposedly invades the airspace above her front porch... So. Until Sarah Palin shuts up, I can't shut up.
2) Hide the vast stash of Mountain Dew stockpiled in your kitchen.
3) Make sure your children keep all their wild critters well hidden until Matt Lauer leaves (As well as their child-sized shotguns).
4) Dress your youngest daughter in an "I heart NY" T-shirt to show how much you actually love those snarky elitist intellectual snobs at The New York Times--Bless their hearts!
5) Remind/Correct that same daughter, on camera, that Campaign Learnin' is far more valuable than Book Learnin'--isn't it, Piper? (Grit teeth here) Because Piper didn't really mean it when she complained to Matt that she hated all those campaign rallies and all the school-days she unfortunately missed... now did you, Piper.
6) Wear the same ugly from-my-favorite-consignment-shop-in-Anchorage pink jacket you wore the day after the ShoppingGate story broke. And remind us all of how not-nearly-as-cute you were before all those gays (Bless their hearts!) and stylists got their hands on you.
Here's how to repair your badly damaged image, Sarah Palin style:
1) Make sure the cameramen get lots of shots of you cookin' up some Moose Chili and such.
2) Hide the vast stash of Mountain Dew stockpiled in your kitchen.
3) Make sure your children keep all their wild critters well hidden until Matt Lauer leaves (As well as their child-sized shotguns).
4) Dress your youngest daughter in an "I heart NY" T-shirt to show how much you actually love those snarky elitist intellectual snobs at The New York Times--Bless their hearts!
5) Remind/Correct that same daughter, on camera, that Campaign Learnin' is far more valuable than Book Learnin'--isn't it, Piper? (Grit teeth here) Because Piper didn't really mean it when she complained to Matt that she hated all those campaign rallies and all the school-days she unfortunately missed... now did you, Piper.
6) Wear the same ugly from-my-favorite-consignment-shop-in-Anchorage pink jacket you wore the day after the ShoppingGate story broke. And remind us all of how not-nearly-as-cute you were before all those gays (Bless their hearts!) and stylists got their hands on you.
7) Insist that you and John McCain actually really love each other, and still talk practically every day. (Um... we all noticed the awkward body-language between you two, Sarah. And if John calls his own wife a c*nt in public (in jest, I hope), what do you think he calls you behind closed doors, hmm?)
Mormons Are "Baptising" Victims of the Holocaust
Did you know that they actually do this?! Well apparently, posthumous baptism-by-proxy has been a common Mormon practice for more than a century. The point? To reunite Mormons with all their "ancestors" in the afterlife... regardless of whether those ancestors happened to be Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, whatever. So disrespectful.
Not surprisingly, many of the Jewish faith are grossly offended by this practice, and the very thought that Holocaust victims who were murdered precisely because of their religion would then be posthumously baptised for Mormon purposes... and without their consent. Even the Vatican has ordered Catholic dioceses worldwide to withhold member registries from Mormons to prevent Catholics from being "baptized" in this fashion.
Thought Death would finally protect y'all from those persistent Latter Day Saints out to convert your heathen souls? Apparently not.
And I thought the Mormon Church funding the Vote-Yes-on-Proposition-8 thing was offensive (not to mention hypocritical, in light of all that bigamy). Sheesh...
Here's an article on this topic: http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-11-10-jewish-baptisms_N.htm?csp=34
Not surprisingly, many of the Jewish faith are grossly offended by this practice, and the very thought that Holocaust victims who were murdered precisely because of their religion would then be posthumously baptised for Mormon purposes... and without their consent. Even the Vatican has ordered Catholic dioceses worldwide to withhold member registries from Mormons to prevent Catholics from being "baptized" in this fashion.
Thought Death would finally protect y'all from those persistent Latter Day Saints out to convert your heathen souls? Apparently not.
And I thought the Mormon Church funding the Vote-Yes-on-Proposition-8 thing was offensive (not to mention hypocritical, in light of all that bigamy). Sheesh...
Here's an article on this topic: http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-11-10-jewish-baptisms_N.htm?csp=34
10 November 2008
Latest Gallup Poll: Obama 53%, Santa Claus 46%
Another old white man is getting his ass whooped by Obama in the latest polls. "Dear Santa" letters are expected to hit an historic low this Christmas, as more and more children take their wish-lists straight to Obama this year instead of to Santa. The poor elves are trying their best to put on a happy face and keep the North Pole a bummer-free zone for Santa. But behind closed doors, an alarming number of elves are being diagnosed with depression... and morale is plummeting...
Good God, the man hasn't even taken office yet, and everyone's dumping their wishlists on Obama already. He may be the new President-Elect, but he's just a man. He can't make everyone's Christmas wishes come true. And certainly not all at once.
So everyone please stop treating Obama like he was born in a manger, or something. Go show Santa some love instead... because he really needs it this year. And if you do write to Santa, fer Chrissakes don't ask him for an Obama action-figure, or commemorative plates with Obama's face on them, etc. etc. Show some sensitivity, people. If you can't do it for Santa, then at least do it for the elves...
Good God, the man hasn't even taken office yet, and everyone's dumping their wishlists on Obama already. He may be the new President-Elect, but he's just a man. He can't make everyone's Christmas wishes come true. And certainly not all at once.
So everyone please stop treating Obama like he was born in a manger, or something. Go show Santa some love instead... because he really needs it this year. And if you do write to Santa, fer Chrissakes don't ask him for an Obama action-figure, or commemorative plates with Obama's face on them, etc. etc. Show some sensitivity, people. If you can't do it for Santa, then at least do it for the elves...
Why Still Photography Will Never Go Out of Style...
J. Scott Applewhite/API'm always amazed by how talented some stills photographers are... and let's face it, Obama is a good subject. The one above was taken as Obama arrived for Tim Russert's funeral (sigh).
Here's another of Obama at a rally in Virginia, September 27, 2008.
Here's another of Obama at a rally in Virginia, September 27, 2008.
Emmanuel Dunand, AFP/Getty ImagesYou can see more campaign stills here: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-11-09/an-intimate-portrait/#gallery=61;page=1
09 November 2008
Sundays with Sus--11/9
What a week. But no hanging chads! No "Bradley effect"! And Palin's back in Alaska--hurrah! So now what? The Obama Campaign awakened this, like, Activist in me... and that soapboxing genie will not be shoved back into her bottle (no matter what her Master says). So.
1) Help Alaska Secede From the Union: Seriously. I used to have such warm-n-fuzzy impressions of Alaska. It started with "Northern Exposure" (remember that show?), which made Alaska seem so darn quirky and charming in its idiosyncrasies. To me, Alaska was where my parents took their cruises... Where my brother did his fishing... I had no idea what actually lurked within those borders. A governor who thinks Africa is a country! (Even my ten-year-old nephew must be laughing his ass off over that one.) A senator who may be the first convicted felon in history to be elected to the United States Senate! What the $#@*&! is going on up there?!!
So, I'm thinking of packing up my parka and joining the Alaska Secessionist Movement (but as a mole--shhh, don't tell). Except... they'll probably expect me to handle a rifle, huh, and like shoot stuff... So maybe that won't work, after all.
2) Free David Gergen! I love that man about as much as I could love any old white dude who served as an adviser to three Republican Presidents (Nixon, Ford and Reagan). But he served as an adviser to Clinton, too, and he identifies himself as an Independent (hurrah!). Plus he's got this Cat-in-the-Hat quality about him:
Isn't he just... Seussical? And he's the best, always spot-on, voice-of-reason political commentator there is... and far too good for CNN. See, CNN loves to brag about how it's the most trustworthy source in cable news... but that's mostly bull, and hidden bias. At least MSNBC is upfront about its political leanings (see Rachel Maddow and Keith Olberman). But CNN is all sneaky about it... and sometimes sloppy too.
If you don't know David Gergen yet, you should. And once again I say to CNN, Free David Gergen!--you're not worthy. And Mr. Obama, couldn't you please find a special hallowed place for him in your administration? The country would be a far better place as a result... seriously.
Oh, and I still watch CNN all the time... I just make sure to have that salt shaker nearby... just in case.
3) Gay is the New Black: Like being told to drink from the "Coloreds Only" fountain--that's what the passage of Proposition 8 here in California is to gay and lesbian citizens. (I wonder if the 7 out of 10 African American voters who voted yes on Prop 8 realize that.) "Civil Unions" are just as good as "Marriages"? Well, segregated schools in the South once argued that segregation was totally legal because, hey, the schools were separate but "equal." And um, remember those nasty little anti-miscegenation laws that were supposedly just "preserving" the centuries old institution of marriage? Well, a vote for Prop 8 was like a vote for those no-mixing-of-white-with-black-blood marriage laws. That a person could on the same ballot vote first for Obama and then vote yes on Prop 8--The hypocrisy/irony there is too much for me... It really is.
But every activist does need a great Cause... And here are some options I'm mulling over this Sunday:
1) Help Alaska Secede From the Union: Seriously. I used to have such warm-n-fuzzy impressions of Alaska. It started with "Northern Exposure" (remember that show?), which made Alaska seem so darn quirky and charming in its idiosyncrasies. To me, Alaska was where my parents took their cruises... Where my brother did his fishing... I had no idea what actually lurked within those borders. A governor who thinks Africa is a country! (Even my ten-year-old nephew must be laughing his ass off over that one.) A senator who may be the first convicted felon in history to be elected to the United States Senate! What the $#@*&! is going on up there?!!
So, I'm thinking of packing up my parka and joining the Alaska Secessionist Movement (but as a mole--shhh, don't tell). Except... they'll probably expect me to handle a rifle, huh, and like shoot stuff... So maybe that won't work, after all.
2) Free David Gergen! I love that man about as much as I could love any old white dude who served as an adviser to three Republican Presidents (Nixon, Ford and Reagan). But he served as an adviser to Clinton, too, and he identifies himself as an Independent (hurrah!). Plus he's got this Cat-in-the-Hat quality about him:
Isn't he just... Seussical? And he's the best, always spot-on, voice-of-reason political commentator there is... and far too good for CNN. See, CNN loves to brag about how it's the most trustworthy source in cable news... but that's mostly bull, and hidden bias. At least MSNBC is upfront about its political leanings (see Rachel Maddow and Keith Olberman). But CNN is all sneaky about it... and sometimes sloppy too.
If you don't know David Gergen yet, you should. And once again I say to CNN, Free David Gergen!--you're not worthy. And Mr. Obama, couldn't you please find a special hallowed place for him in your administration? The country would be a far better place as a result... seriously.
Oh, and I still watch CNN all the time... I just make sure to have that salt shaker nearby... just in case.
3) Gay is the New Black: Like being told to drink from the "Coloreds Only" fountain--that's what the passage of Proposition 8 here in California is to gay and lesbian citizens. (I wonder if the 7 out of 10 African American voters who voted yes on Prop 8 realize that.) "Civil Unions" are just as good as "Marriages"? Well, segregated schools in the South once argued that segregation was totally legal because, hey, the schools were separate but "equal." And um, remember those nasty little anti-miscegenation laws that were supposedly just "preserving" the centuries old institution of marriage? Well, a vote for Prop 8 was like a vote for those no-mixing-of-white-with-black-blood marriage laws. That a person could on the same ballot vote first for Obama and then vote yes on Prop 8--The hypocrisy/irony there is too much for me... It really is.
Well, here comes the next Civil Rights movement... because it seems in this country that someone has to be treated like a second-class citizen... always. From "Jim Crow" to "Jim Queer"--is that where this nation is headed? If so, I say OK--bring on the "Gays Only" fountains, and restaurants, and theaters/galleries/concert-halls, etc. etc. I may be "entitled" to the "Straights Only" venues... but hey, I'd rather go where much of the funny/talented/aesthetic are... if they'll have me. Because I wouldn't blame them for being really suspicious of all us "straights" right now...
08 November 2008
The Wasilla Hillbillies
It helps if you sing along to the lyrics...
The Ballad of John McCain
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
The old Maverick only gained the base's frown.
Then one day he was searching for some "cool",
And down from the North came a bubbling fool...
A brunette, that is... Alaska's "gold"... Pundits' glee.
Well the next thing you know John's dream is but a blur,
Kinfolk said "John, get away from her!"
Said "Independents is the place you ought to be!"
But they loaded up the truck instead and went to Beverly...
Hills, that is... Neiman Marcus... Shopping sprees.
Well, now it's time to say goodbye to John and all his kin.
They'd like to thank you folks fer all the votes that trickled in.
You're all invited back again to this locality,
For a heapin' dose in 2012 of true Insanity...
Hillybilly style, that is... Set a spell... Take your shoes off.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
The Ballad of John McCain
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
The old Maverick only gained the base's frown.
Then one day he was searching for some "cool",
And down from the North came a bubbling fool...
A brunette, that is... Alaska's "gold"... Pundits' glee.
Well the next thing you know John's dream is but a blur,
Kinfolk said "John, get away from her!"
Said "Independents is the place you ought to be!"
But they loaded up the truck instead and went to Beverly...
Hills, that is... Neiman Marcus... Shopping sprees.
Well, now it's time to say goodbye to John and all his kin.
They'd like to thank you folks fer all the votes that trickled in.
You're all invited back again to this locality,
For a heapin' dose in 2012 of true Insanity...
Hillybilly style, that is... Set a spell... Take your shoes off.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
VIDEO: The Onion covers Obama Withdrawal
Oh how I love The Onion at its best. And this "news segment" is great! I'm thinking of sending it to my family, who have been a little worried (for real) about how I'll deal with life now that the election is over. It's hilarious. Go watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3_95F5e-Ac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3_95F5e-Ac
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
It's no longer just a fantasy from a movie--now it's science. Selective memory erasure is possible... in mice, anyway--which makes me laugh, because right now I'm picturing a mousy mouse dressed like Joel Barish and an orange-dyed mouse dressed like Clementine.
Humans may very well be next. Last year, scientists published findings suggesting that certain drugs may be able to refashion memories when administered shortly after traumatic events. Now they are looking for ways to reshape and/or erase painful memories even years afterwards.
That would be a great scientific breakthrough for, say, people suffering from PTSD. But for traumatic breakups? Ooh... I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea, actually.
I read Charlie Kaufman's original script--not the shooting script--which started with a flash-forward to the future, when an 80-year-old Clementine shows up at the clinic yet again asking to have all memories of one Joel Barish erased... again. I don't know that the movie actually needed that scene. But it illustrates Kaufman's viewpoint on the wisdom of erasing memories of people we once loved. And the tragedy of it is, if Clementine and Joel had just kept their memories of each other, good bad ugly and everything in between... maybe they could have learned from it, and even figured out one day how to make their relationship work in the long-term. Maybe not. But impulsive memory-erasure just kept those two locked in an eternal cycle of the wisdom-less mind. (Sigh)
Here's the article behind this post http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-11-07/the-end-of-bad-memories/
Humans may very well be next. Last year, scientists published findings suggesting that certain drugs may be able to refashion memories when administered shortly after traumatic events. Now they are looking for ways to reshape and/or erase painful memories even years afterwards.
That would be a great scientific breakthrough for, say, people suffering from PTSD. But for traumatic breakups? Ooh... I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea, actually.
I read Charlie Kaufman's original script--not the shooting script--which started with a flash-forward to the future, when an 80-year-old Clementine shows up at the clinic yet again asking to have all memories of one Joel Barish erased... again. I don't know that the movie actually needed that scene. But it illustrates Kaufman's viewpoint on the wisdom of erasing memories of people we once loved. And the tragedy of it is, if Clementine and Joel had just kept their memories of each other, good bad ugly and everything in between... maybe they could have learned from it, and even figured out one day how to make their relationship work in the long-term. Maybe not. But impulsive memory-erasure just kept those two locked in an eternal cycle of the wisdom-less mind. (Sigh)
Here's the article behind this post http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-11-07/the-end-of-bad-memories/
07 November 2008
Hope on a Tightrope
I am in love with Cornel West. And his new book, Hope on a Tightrope. Read this book. Or just visit my blog, and I'll give you my favorite bits, chapter by chapter (there are 12).
Here's today's installment, from Chapter One, State of Emergency:
"Culture, in part, provides people with the tools and resources to steel themselves against adversity and convinces them not to kill themselves or others. This is the reason why I am preoccupied with a sense of the tragicomic. At the moment in which we must look defeat, disillusionment, and discouragement in the face and work through it--a sense of the tragicomic keeps alive some sense of possibility. Some sense of hope. Some sense of agency. Some sense of resistance."
"Yet hope is no guarantee. Real hope is grounded in a particularly messy struggle and it can be betrayed by naive projections of a better future that ignore the necessity of doing the real work. So what we are talking about is hope on a tightrope."
I could never have said it better myself, Cornel. Although I've wanted to say it. Because I've worried a bit about what We-the-People will do after the election of Obama. Will we just take tokes from the Obama Hookah of Hope? Or will we step up to the plate and do our fair share of the work, each according to his/her means and abilities...
Here's today's installment, from Chapter One, State of Emergency:
"Culture, in part, provides people with the tools and resources to steel themselves against adversity and convinces them not to kill themselves or others. This is the reason why I am preoccupied with a sense of the tragicomic. At the moment in which we must look defeat, disillusionment, and discouragement in the face and work through it--a sense of the tragicomic keeps alive some sense of possibility. Some sense of hope. Some sense of agency. Some sense of resistance."
"Yet hope is no guarantee. Real hope is grounded in a particularly messy struggle and it can be betrayed by naive projections of a better future that ignore the necessity of doing the real work. So what we are talking about is hope on a tightrope."
I could never have said it better myself, Cornel. Although I've wanted to say it. Because I've worried a bit about what We-the-People will do after the election of Obama. Will we just take tokes from the Obama Hookah of Hope? Or will we step up to the plate and do our fair share of the work, each according to his/her means and abilities...
New White House Chief of Staff: Rahm(bo) Emanuel
“They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!”—David Mamet, The Untouchables
We're all going to hear a lot of back-and-forth about Rahm Emanuel in the coming days... and he's a colorful old-school/new-skool Chicago-style politico, so there's a lot of material there to work with. Here are some of the most colorful bits:
-- Rahmbo once sent a rotting fish to a pollster who had angered him (better than a bloody horse's head in one's bed, I suppose).
--His brother Ari is a Hollywood agent who is said to be the model for the agent "Ari Gold" of that HBO show known as Entourage.
--He was once a ballet dancer--his mother forced him into it, apparently--and a really good one(!??) He was also an Investment Banker once who was in-and-out of Wall Street in two years, after making some serious dough.
--He lost his right middle finger to a meat slicer as a teenager (so we can all guess which finger he uses to flick the bird).
--At one of Clinton's inaugural celebratory dinners, Rahmbo got so angry at Clinton's enemies that he stood up, grabbed a steak knife, and began naming betrayers' names, shouting "Dead! . . . Dead! . . . Dead!", with one plunge of the knife into the table per every name. "When he was done, the table looked like a lunar landscape," one campaign veteran recalls. "It was like something out of The Godfather. But that's Rahm for you." [1]
The writers of SNL are so jumping up and down right now... I just know it. And hardcore Republicans are, at this very moment, sharpening their knives... Maybe some left-wing rogue-ish Democrats too, by some accounts.
But you know what, I say "Good choice, Obama." You are smart to appoint a Chief of Staff who can out-Gingrich any Newt Gingrich that's thrown at you, from either party. Someone who can get things done. Finally. That's the Chicago way...
And I remember well what I learned about Bobby Kennedy during his brother's administration: Bobby was the Hatchet Man, the Bad Cop, the fiercest and most loyal of Attack Dogs, and the one person who had JFK's back, always. Bobby got things done. Bobby took no prisoners. And it was Bobby, who may have been the one to really convince Kruschev to back down in the Cuban Missile Crisis--he told Kruschev that the military hawks were itching to invade Cuba and ready to go "rogue" at any minute... and it seems Kruschev probably believed him. It wasn't about "partisanship" for Bobby, either. It was about loyalty, to his President, and his President's vision for the nation (not his own).
Hehe... Welcome (back) to the White House, Rahmbo. I am really looking forward to SNL's take on you... And I'm glad to learn that the Obama Administration will not be entirely without a comic Achilles Heel...
Read the Rolling Stones piece on "Rahmbo the Enforcer" if you want to learn more about this colorful man: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/8091986/the_enforcer/
We're all going to hear a lot of back-and-forth about Rahm Emanuel in the coming days... and he's a colorful old-school/new-skool Chicago-style politico, so there's a lot of material there to work with. Here are some of the most colorful bits:
-- Rahmbo once sent a rotting fish to a pollster who had angered him (better than a bloody horse's head in one's bed, I suppose).
--His brother Ari is a Hollywood agent who is said to be the model for the agent "Ari Gold" of that HBO show known as Entourage.
--He was once a ballet dancer--his mother forced him into it, apparently--and a really good one(!??) He was also an Investment Banker once who was in-and-out of Wall Street in two years, after making some serious dough.
--He lost his right middle finger to a meat slicer as a teenager (so we can all guess which finger he uses to flick the bird).
--At one of Clinton's inaugural celebratory dinners, Rahmbo got so angry at Clinton's enemies that he stood up, grabbed a steak knife, and began naming betrayers' names, shouting "Dead! . . . Dead! . . . Dead!", with one plunge of the knife into the table per every name. "When he was done, the table looked like a lunar landscape," one campaign veteran recalls. "It was like something out of The Godfather. But that's Rahm for you." [1]
The writers of SNL are so jumping up and down right now... I just know it. And hardcore Republicans are, at this very moment, sharpening their knives... Maybe some left-wing rogue-ish Democrats too, by some accounts.
But you know what, I say "Good choice, Obama." You are smart to appoint a Chief of Staff who can out-Gingrich any Newt Gingrich that's thrown at you, from either party. Someone who can get things done. Finally. That's the Chicago way...
And I remember well what I learned about Bobby Kennedy during his brother's administration: Bobby was the Hatchet Man, the Bad Cop, the fiercest and most loyal of Attack Dogs, and the one person who had JFK's back, always. Bobby got things done. Bobby took no prisoners. And it was Bobby, who may have been the one to really convince Kruschev to back down in the Cuban Missile Crisis--he told Kruschev that the military hawks were itching to invade Cuba and ready to go "rogue" at any minute... and it seems Kruschev probably believed him. It wasn't about "partisanship" for Bobby, either. It was about loyalty, to his President, and his President's vision for the nation (not his own).
Hehe... Welcome (back) to the White House, Rahmbo. I am really looking forward to SNL's take on you... And I'm glad to learn that the Obama Administration will not be entirely without a comic Achilles Heel...
Read the Rolling Stones piece on "Rahmbo the Enforcer" if you want to learn more about this colorful man: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/8091986/the_enforcer/
06 November 2008
Even Some Republicans Are Trying To Ride Obama's Coattails
Good God, Karl Rove. Before the election, you were saying that Obama was the most liberal Leftist. After the election, well now you're saying that Obama is really a Conservative, or Center-Right Centrist. You threw me for a loop there, Karl. For about a minute. And then I realized what you're trying to do: steal some reflected glory from Obama's victory and his mandate from the people (through your usual spin), in an attempt to save your cannibalizing Republican party which is currently eating itself alive.
Nice try, Karl. But now I understand this wave of articles I've been encountering lately that ask the question: Is Obama the true Conservative? Is he really Ronald Reagan, the Sequel? And so, did the Republican Party in effect "win" this election? Once you just put the proper spin on things?
Maybe y'all aren't evil (exactly). You're just hopelessly incompetent and totally inept... and 8 years wasn't long enough for y'all to even figure it out. Or maybe you just make the same mistake that Hollywood studios often do: you underestimate the intelligence of your audiences. Then scratch your heads when those movies tank.
One thing I've learned though: I will not trust labels, any of them, that others try to attach to our new President and his Administration. Conservative or Liberal, Republican or Democrat--they're just labels. And I don't care (anymore). From now on, I'll do my own homework and come to my own conclusions, thank-you-very-much.
Nice try, Karl. But now I understand this wave of articles I've been encountering lately that ask the question: Is Obama the true Conservative? Is he really Ronald Reagan, the Sequel? And so, did the Republican Party in effect "win" this election? Once you just put the proper spin on things?
Maybe y'all aren't evil (exactly). You're just hopelessly incompetent and totally inept... and 8 years wasn't long enough for y'all to even figure it out. Or maybe you just make the same mistake that Hollywood studios often do: you underestimate the intelligence of your audiences. Then scratch your heads when those movies tank.
One thing I've learned though: I will not trust labels, any of them, that others try to attach to our new President and his Administration. Conservative or Liberal, Republican or Democrat--they're just labels. And I don't care (anymore). From now on, I'll do my own homework and come to my own conclusions, thank-you-very-much.
Election 2008 Post Mortem
It's over. And now is the time to expunge any remaining bits of partisanship, so I can rally around the common-cause/system-of-triage intently focused on the trinity of Economy, Energy, and Foreign Affairs. I'm not going to cram my liberal social ideology down anyone's throat right now (which is why I'm not flipping out--in this forum, anyway--about the passage of Proposition 8 in California). I hope those on the evangelical right will do the same on their end. Just pretend for a moment that you're being coached by Phil Jackson, and he's telling you you've got to focus, stay Zen, be a team-player, and get into-the-zone. Now. Or else, we lose. Period. So just set to the side all those hot-button issues like gun control, and abortion, and teaching "intelligent design" instead of evolution to our kids in science class. Just until we've stopped the bleeding and we're out of triage, OK?
But can I just have one last go at Sarah Palin? Just to get it out of my system? Because I've tried sooo hard to keep the gloves on, and be fair to her... just as a matter of principle. But I can't just let all her hoodwinking go unchallenged... because it's dangerous... and I don't want conscientious evangelicals to follow that lipstick-wearing false prophet. OK. Here goes...
Woman, where do I even start with you?! I hope SNL does an alternate-universe spoof on what Washington might have been like with you there (shudder), and they should call it The Wasilla Hillbillies (I got that gem from top McCain advisers, btw). You don't go "rogue" on the Presidential candidate who brought you onto his ticket! That's so... "hillbilly." Take a cue from Ellie-Mae Clampett, who at least gained some sophistication from her days in Beverly Hills--and no, shopping at Neiman Marcus does not count.
It's not all about you, girl. Normally, a VP candidate would not even think of demanding that she be allowed to deliver her own concession speech(!)--didja know that, Ms. I'm-Not-A-Diva? And fer Chrissakes, you don't receive in your hotel room top McCain (male) advisers who are there to brief you on important matters, wearing nothing but a bathtowel! You're not that cute or irresistible, honey. So stop trying to skate by on your looks and charm. Stop trying to justify your willful ignorance by declaring a war on "elitism" and intelligence. Why don't you go and, like, read something. Anything. Though I'd recommend the Constitution of the United States as a starting point, if you're really serious about leading your party in 2012.
Oh... you make me so mad, Sarah Palin, you ditzy high-school beeotch, you. I'd, like, totally catfight you behind the gymnasium... except that I know you'd just whip out your rifle and shoot me down like a moose. Or a polar bear. But I digress...
Go do some homework, Sarah Palin. Stop telling people it's OK to be ignorant and xenophobic, and stop mucking it up for all those smart and truly accomplished women out there who are trying to rise by virtue of their own (non-sexual) merits. Do all that, and I promise you, I will not go postal on you in 2012... if that's really where you're headed.
(Exhale) I'm so glad I got that out of my system. If you've read this far, thanks for letting me rant/vent. I sooo needed it.
But can I just have one last go at Sarah Palin? Just to get it out of my system? Because I've tried sooo hard to keep the gloves on, and be fair to her... just as a matter of principle. But I can't just let all her hoodwinking go unchallenged... because it's dangerous... and I don't want conscientious evangelicals to follow that lipstick-wearing false prophet. OK. Here goes...
Woman, where do I even start with you?! I hope SNL does an alternate-universe spoof on what Washington might have been like with you there (shudder), and they should call it The Wasilla Hillbillies (I got that gem from top McCain advisers, btw). You don't go "rogue" on the Presidential candidate who brought you onto his ticket! That's so... "hillbilly." Take a cue from Ellie-Mae Clampett, who at least gained some sophistication from her days in Beverly Hills--and no, shopping at Neiman Marcus does not count.
It's not all about you, girl. Normally, a VP candidate would not even think of demanding that she be allowed to deliver her own concession speech(!)--didja know that, Ms. I'm-Not-A-Diva? And fer Chrissakes, you don't receive in your hotel room top McCain (male) advisers who are there to brief you on important matters, wearing nothing but a bathtowel! You're not that cute or irresistible, honey. So stop trying to skate by on your looks and charm. Stop trying to justify your willful ignorance by declaring a war on "elitism" and intelligence. Why don't you go and, like, read something. Anything. Though I'd recommend the Constitution of the United States as a starting point, if you're really serious about leading your party in 2012.
Oh... you make me so mad, Sarah Palin, you ditzy high-school beeotch, you. I'd, like, totally catfight you behind the gymnasium... except that I know you'd just whip out your rifle and shoot me down like a moose. Or a polar bear. But I digress...
Go do some homework, Sarah Palin. Stop telling people it's OK to be ignorant and xenophobic, and stop mucking it up for all those smart and truly accomplished women out there who are trying to rise by virtue of their own (non-sexual) merits. Do all that, and I promise you, I will not go postal on you in 2012... if that's really where you're headed.
(Exhale) I'm so glad I got that out of my system. If you've read this far, thanks for letting me rant/vent. I sooo needed it.
Deconstructing O'bama: Part I
That's not a typo, btw: the apostrophe after the "O" in "O'bama" was intentional. Because it highlights this freaky thing about Obama: he's like a walking United Nations, seriously. "Obama" is, in fact, the name of his Kenyan father. But add an apostrophe, and suddenly it could be Irish! It sounds Muslim. But in Japan, it means "little beach."
And just look at that man's face: he could be African/Insert-any-race-creed-color-here. And he has the ears of a Bush(!) And have you ever compared Obama's face to Tiger Woods'? Look at that... they could pass for brothers... or at least cousins, right? And they're both into that crisp-whites-and-khaki-pants thing, clearly.
But Tiger is African/Asian American. Obama is African/Caucasian American. And which "side" gets to "claim him," anyway--either of them. Because, I know that Asian Americans of my parents' generation love their golf, and therefore their Tiger, and can talk for hours about how Tiger's Asian half is really responsible for his athletic brilliance... which would probably make his African half laugh out loud. That's the freaky thing about Barack, though, and the reason why (I suspect) people so want him to embody their very hopes and dreams. Everyone wants a piece of him--it's always that way with "Stars." Everyone can see a piece of themselves in him. He's an ideal white-screen for the "projections" (to use psycho-speak) of others. That's why he's "money." And I say, project away y'all... But I'm telling you, that man knows who he is, and what he's about. And something tells me that sort of thing has been happening to him his whole life... and he knows by now what to do with it. That's my take, anyway.
And you know who else he resembles, imho? Bobby Fischer. And whoever Bobby had in his pit-crew. Because that campaign was, like, Chess Master, and always several steps ahead of its opponent... That would certainly explain why the Obama campaign never lost its cool: because if "Bobby" knows he's already anticipated every permutation of your next ten possible moves... well, he wouldn't exactly be sweating it now, would he. That's why I'm expecting, and looking forward to hearing the Obama six-point-plan. On everything. That's the kind of Warren-Buffet-esque fuddy-duddy he really is... so don't let that movie-star smile fool you.
That's all for now. I'll put Barack back "on the couch" in the future... when the mood to deconstruct strikes me. Frankly, in my humble opinion every President should be put on the couch... before we hire him/her.
P.S. I was also just thinking that we have such a love/hate, push/pull relationship with the French. We really do. And sometimes, the French love to sit around at the cafe acting all been-there-done-that and full of existential ennui... and critique the actions of the U.S.... But no country loves it more when the United States gets all Declaration-of-Independence-y about itself--we did get those lofty, all-men-are-created-equal ideals from their philosophers and intellectuals, after all. They're usually the first to jump to our aid when we're like that. And they're usually the ones to copy us first when we manage to pull off something they wish they had pulled off.
Which is why I just know there's some David-Axelrod-wannabe politico in France right now, starting the search for France's answer to Barack Obama...
And just look at that man's face: he could be African/Insert-any-race-creed-color-here. And he has the ears of a Bush(!) And have you ever compared Obama's face to Tiger Woods'? Look at that... they could pass for brothers... or at least cousins, right? And they're both into that crisp-whites-and-khaki-pants thing, clearly.
But Tiger is African/Asian American. Obama is African/Caucasian American. And which "side" gets to "claim him," anyway--either of them. Because, I know that Asian Americans of my parents' generation love their golf, and therefore their Tiger, and can talk for hours about how Tiger's Asian half is really responsible for his athletic brilliance... which would probably make his African half laugh out loud. That's the freaky thing about Barack, though, and the reason why (I suspect) people so want him to embody their very hopes and dreams. Everyone wants a piece of him--it's always that way with "Stars." Everyone can see a piece of themselves in him. He's an ideal white-screen for the "projections" (to use psycho-speak) of others. That's why he's "money." And I say, project away y'all... But I'm telling you, that man knows who he is, and what he's about. And something tells me that sort of thing has been happening to him his whole life... and he knows by now what to do with it. That's my take, anyway.
And you know who else he resembles, imho? Bobby Fischer. And whoever Bobby had in his pit-crew. Because that campaign was, like, Chess Master, and always several steps ahead of its opponent... That would certainly explain why the Obama campaign never lost its cool: because if "Bobby" knows he's already anticipated every permutation of your next ten possible moves... well, he wouldn't exactly be sweating it now, would he. That's why I'm expecting, and looking forward to hearing the Obama six-point-plan. On everything. That's the kind of Warren-Buffet-esque fuddy-duddy he really is... so don't let that movie-star smile fool you.
That's all for now. I'll put Barack back "on the couch" in the future... when the mood to deconstruct strikes me. Frankly, in my humble opinion every President should be put on the couch... before we hire him/her.
P.S. I was also just thinking that we have such a love/hate, push/pull relationship with the French. We really do. And sometimes, the French love to sit around at the cafe acting all been-there-done-that and full of existential ennui... and critique the actions of the U.S.... But no country loves it more when the United States gets all Declaration-of-Independence-y about itself--we did get those lofty, all-men-are-created-equal ideals from their philosophers and intellectuals, after all. They're usually the first to jump to our aid when we're like that. And they're usually the ones to copy us first when we manage to pull off something they wish they had pulled off.
Which is why I just know there's some David-Axelrod-wannabe politico in France right now, starting the search for France's answer to Barack Obama...
05 November 2008
Field of Dreams
Scratch a journalist, and underneath you'll find a frustrated writer or novelist. 9 times out of 10. And obviously, bloggers are nothing but frustrated writers. But let me say this: writers know the elements of a great, great narrative when they see them. And it's a narrative that extends well beyond the personal narrative of the man, or of an election, or even of a movement, specifically the Civil Rights movement. At its heart, it's the narrative of The American Dream. It's the reason why all those journalists (and this blogger) went mad for Obama the minute he won Iowa.
Iowa. The original Field of Dreams. And then it was a football field in Denver. And last night, a grassy field in Chicago. Fields of dreams... every one of them. And for the last year-and-a-half, I've been hearing this weird but quiet inner voice saying, If he builds it, they will come...
Oh crap, I'm getting all verklempt again... so maybe I can't write about this just yet. I will. Just not this second. This story is so big... much too big to filter this quickly through my writerly-ish mind.
If he builds it, they will come. And they did. They really, really did. And now, the story really begins...
Iowa. The original Field of Dreams. And then it was a football field in Denver. And last night, a grassy field in Chicago. Fields of dreams... every one of them. And for the last year-and-a-half, I've been hearing this weird but quiet inner voice saying, If he builds it, they will come...
Oh crap, I'm getting all verklempt again... so maybe I can't write about this just yet. I will. Just not this second. This story is so big... much too big to filter this quickly through my writerly-ish mind.
If he builds it, they will come. And they did. They really, really did. And now, the story really begins...
I Lost the Pool...
I bet on 338 electoral college votes--that was my magic number. Then my friend tried to Price-Is-Right me with a bet of 339--but I wouldn't let him. So he bet on 350... and ultimately won.
But I still maintain I was right about that magic number of 338. Because in the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Month (literally, since the major news networks called the election at 11:00PM EST), Obama had 338 electoral college votes. So it was... in the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Month... and just in the nick of time.
But I still maintain I was right about that magic number of 338. Because in the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Month (literally, since the major news networks called the election at 11:00PM EST), Obama had 338 electoral college votes. So it was... in the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Month... and just in the nick of time.
Global Love Letters to President Obama
Or: How To Win Friends and Influence Nations.
See what I mean now about having as our President the world's most "money" Front-Man? And how lucky we are to have him?
It's happening already... the I heart Obama wave. And it's happening all over the world...
And it made me think of something I'd read weeks ago in David Brooks' fantastic piece on Obama's temperament as it relates to the Presidency:
"Some candidates are motivated by something they lack. For L.B.J., it was respect. For Bill Clinton, it was adoration. These politicians are motivated to fill that void. Their challenge once in office is self-regulation. How will they control the demons, insecurities and longings that fired their ambitions?
But other candidates are propelled by what some psychologists call self-efficacy, the placid assumption that they can handle whatever the future throws at them. Candidates in this mold...are driven upward by a desire to realize some capacity in their nature. They rise with an unshakable serenity that is inexplicable to their critics and infuriating to their foes.
They say we are products of our environments, but Obama, the sojourner, seems to go through various situations without being overly touched by them. Over the past two years, he has been the subject of nearly unparalleled public worship, but far from getting drunk on it, he has become less grandiloquent as the campaign has gone along.
When Bill Clinton campaigned, he tried to seduce his audiences. But at Obama rallies, the candidate is the wooed not the wooer. He doesn’t seem to need the audience’s love. But they need his. The audiences hunger for his affection, while he is calm, appreciative and didactic."
Well. Here's how the world is trying to woo President Obama. Already!
L'Amour from Le France: Let's start with the French (who have been mad at us ever since that time when some chose to call fried strips of potatoes "Freedom Fries" rather than "French Fries"--how stoopid was that?!):
"Obama-mania" à la française has swept all corners of the populace. "Obama is a model we can grasp" is the way Zachary James Miller, an Obama fan in Paris, explains the astonishing affection shown by the French, presenting Obama not just as a representative for minorities, but as a messenger of "hope for everyone." [1]
"All across the political spectrum, from right to left, the French are marvelling at American's new dawn. It's no surprise that President Nicolas Sarkozy -- derided by the opposition as "Sarko, the American" -- anticipated Obama's success, even as diplomatic advisers allegedly still counted on his opponent winning the Democratic primary: "I never believed Hillary Clinton would win," said Sarkozy before boldly declaring, "Obama is my buddy." [2]
From Rue89: "This time the world says thank you to America."
From Le Monde: "What intelligence, what mastery, what sang-froid..."
From Jack Lang, a long-serving culture minister under the late President Mitterrand: "The America that we love is back. This election will have the effect of an electric shock and will bring about a spiritual revolution."
From our British Relatives Across the Pond:
"Today is for celebration, for happiness and for reflected human glory. Savour those words: President Barack Obama, America's hope and, in no small way, ours too." [3]
From Al-Jazeera:
“Now we have an American administration that wants to save itself and learn from the mistakes of its predecessors in order to save its country and people.”
From the Daily Nation in Kenya:
“Shortly after CNN declared Obama the winner just before 7am (Kenya time) on Wednesday, President Kibaki announced that Kenyans will on Thursday take a day off to mark the historic election of Obama to the most powerful office on earth.”
From El Universal in Venezuela:
“On this day of hope, president Hugo Chávez, on behalf of the Venezuelan people, congratulates the people of the United States and president-elect Barack Obama for the important victory he has attained… In Simon Bolivar’s homeland, we are convinced that time has come to establish new relations between our countries, and with our region, based on the principles of sovereignty, equality, and true cooperation.”
From Obama, Japan:
A sleepy fishing village named Obama (which means "little beach" in Japanese) celebrates Obama's victory:
See what I mean now about having as our President the world's most "money" Front-Man? And how lucky we are to have him?04 November 2008
Election Night 2008 Drinking Game
No way am I getting through tonight without some drinks. Many, many drinks, probably...
Here's a drinking game I found on the San Francisco Chronicle's site:
Obama
If you think Obama is going to win, slug one down every time you hear someone (pundit/host, etc.) say the words:
-- Transformational
-- Landslide
-- First African American
-- Youth vote
-- Axelrod
-- Working class
-- Filibuster-proof
-- Magic map (CNN only)
-- White voters
-- Irregularities
-- New voters
-- Bradley effect
-- "Pollsters were wrong"
If you hear a lot of this last one, then you'd better make a pot of coffee and line up the Advil. Obama fans may not want to get out of bed the next day. Or ever again.
McCain
For you McCainiacs, get comfy and then pop a shot every time you hear utterances of these words:
-- Maverick
-- Pennsylvania
-- Joe the Plumber
-- Palin effect
-- Real Americans
-- Socialist
-- Terrorist
-- Ayers
-- POW
-- Negative
-- Steve Schmidt
-- "In the tank"
-- The media
-- ACORN
-- Fraud
Here's the original link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/31/WI1R13QI78.DTL
I've also started a pool within my very small circle of (wonky) friends--although I can't tell you what the winner gets (on the advice of my Legal Counsel--ha). I am betting, though, on 338 electoral college votes. That's my magic number...
Here's a drinking game I found on the San Francisco Chronicle's site:
Obama
If you think Obama is going to win, slug one down every time you hear someone (pundit/host, etc.) say the words:
-- Transformational
-- Landslide
-- First African American
-- Youth vote
-- Axelrod
-- Working class
-- Filibuster-proof
-- Magic map (CNN only)
-- White voters
-- Irregularities
-- New voters
-- Bradley effect
-- "Pollsters were wrong"
If you hear a lot of this last one, then you'd better make a pot of coffee and line up the Advil. Obama fans may not want to get out of bed the next day. Or ever again.
McCain
For you McCainiacs, get comfy and then pop a shot every time you hear utterances of these words:
-- Maverick
-- Pennsylvania
-- Joe the Plumber
-- Palin effect
-- Real Americans
-- Socialist
-- Terrorist
-- Ayers
-- POW
-- Negative
-- Steve Schmidt
-- "In the tank"
-- The media
-- ACORN
-- Fraud
Here's the original link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/31/WI1R13QI78.DTL
I've also started a pool within my very small circle of (wonky) friends--although I can't tell you what the winner gets (on the advice of my Legal Counsel--ha). I am betting, though, on 338 electoral college votes. That's my magic number...
I Just Rocked My Vote!
Only for Barack would I have dragged my ass out of bed at 5AM so I could be on line already when the polls opened at 7AM. Lucky for me, I don't live in a Battleground State, so the process was pretty smooth and fast.
During the short time I waited, though, I noticed that everyone seemed... happy(!) And full of friendly good-will towards their neighbors. It was really, really nice... you know? We all joked around, and laughed as we wondered if Bush Jr. would be allowed out of the bunker once the election's over. And the poll-worker got a good laugh out of how hard I was punching the pen into my ballot--to which I replied, "I have exactly two words for you: hanging chads. No way are my chads going to hang..."
Then I walked to Starbucks and got my reward: a free tall cup of coffee (just tell them you voted, and you can get one too). As I walked home, I thought about this: how lucky we would be to have a President who is, in the eyes of the world, like a JFK-meets-Mohammed Ali-meets-The Beatles. Seriously, he's that much of a global rock-star already. You've even got Chavez clamoring to get Obama's ear, saying "I want to get closer to the black man" (um, Hugo... you may want to stop incessantly referring to Obama as "the black man"--you dum-dum). Only in the United States, Jordan, and Pakistan do McCain's popularity numbers even begin to approach Obama's. And as we all know, there's great power in popularity.
Look, I generally find celebrity worship to be rather... distasteful, to put it mildly. But hey, I'm more than happy to let my President work his global celebrity status, if it helps him help us and our planet earth. America, we are on the verge of having as our President the world's most "money" Front-Man!! Just imagine... all the people sharing all the world--yes, John Lennon's song is playing in my head right now. What can I say, I'm a hippie-dippie at heart, and a hope(less/full) dreamer...
Go 'Bama!
During the short time I waited, though, I noticed that everyone seemed... happy(!) And full of friendly good-will towards their neighbors. It was really, really nice... you know? We all joked around, and laughed as we wondered if Bush Jr. would be allowed out of the bunker once the election's over. And the poll-worker got a good laugh out of how hard I was punching the pen into my ballot--to which I replied, "I have exactly two words for you: hanging chads. No way are my chads going to hang..."
Then I walked to Starbucks and got my reward: a free tall cup of coffee (just tell them you voted, and you can get one too). As I walked home, I thought about this: how lucky we would be to have a President who is, in the eyes of the world, like a JFK-meets-Mohammed Ali-meets-The Beatles. Seriously, he's that much of a global rock-star already. You've even got Chavez clamoring to get Obama's ear, saying "I want to get closer to the black man" (um, Hugo... you may want to stop incessantly referring to Obama as "the black man"--you dum-dum). Only in the United States, Jordan, and Pakistan do McCain's popularity numbers even begin to approach Obama's. And as we all know, there's great power in popularity.
Look, I generally find celebrity worship to be rather... distasteful, to put it mildly. But hey, I'm more than happy to let my President work his global celebrity status, if it helps him help us and our planet earth. America, we are on the verge of having as our President the world's most "money" Front-Man!! Just imagine... all the people sharing all the world--yes, John Lennon's song is playing in my head right now. What can I say, I'm a hippie-dippie at heart, and a hope(less/full) dreamer...
Go 'Bama!
03 November 2008
The "Dish" Behind The Founding Fathers
It's funny to me, when candidates get unfairly attacked as being "radical." People forget who the Founding Fathers of this country actually were. They were radicals, and revolutionaries. Every one of the first five presidents, from George Washington up through James Monroe, were Revolutionaries, not Politicians (which is where and how they got tripped up, when they did). We forget that. And we forget that in the history of the world, there is no social experiment more radical than this Democracy of ours.
I watched this documentary on the History Channel that covered those first five. Here's what I took away:
George Washington: Not only the first President, but maybe the first Metrosexual as well. He always made sure he looked great. He liked to design uniforms for his military. He was a skilled interior designer, and fussed over the decor of Mount Vernon like a Queer-Eye-for-the-Straight-Guy. He loved to dance, and every lady clamored to dance a minuet with him. He also played a large part in the design and construction of the White House itself (which sadly, he never lived to see completed).
The key to George's success as a President (and General, for that matter): he surrounded himself with the best and brightest advisers he could find, and actually listened to what they had to say without micro-managing, never forgetting though his role as the presiding Judge-in-Chief when it came time to make the final decision. George had enough self-confidence to do that, without feeling threatened. A crucial trait in a President, imho, and one too often lacking in the Oval Office.
George also had no party affiliation. Hmm...
John Adams: The first of the Father-Son duos to occupy the White House. Harvard-educated and super-bright, he was also incredibly insecure. One minute he was on-top-of-the-world, and the next he was convinced he was complete and utter sh*t. His mood-swings were legendary. And he couldn't take criticism--too insecure, you see. Which is why he couldn't deal with the criticism he faced for his decision not to go to war against France (which historians say was a smart smart decision). And so he created the shameful Alien and Sedition Acts instead, to shut-up those who dared to criticize him. Tsk, tsk...
Adams was a Federalist. So he believed in a strong Federal Government over individual States' Rights.
Thomas Jefferson: He hated Adams, and the Federalists, and distrusted a strong Federal government. He favored Republicanism, which is not the same as Democracy. Republicanism asserts that people have inalienable rights that cannot be voted away by a majority of voters. It also rejects inherited political power (see the Bush and Adams families), expects citizens to be independent in their performance of civic duties, and is strongly opposed to corruption in government.
Except... once he got into office, he got corrupted by power, too. He worked the press, and seriously tried to keep his Sally Hemmings affair quiet (btw, Sally was the half-sister of his wife! The two shared the same father--how sick is that?). And the Louisiana Purchase was a huge assumption of Presidential power that was probably, ahem, unconstitutional. Look, the man pretty much wrote the Declaration of Independence; I'm sure he knew that what he was doing was not exactly kosher, constitutionally speaking.
His party was officially called the Democratic-Republican party.
James Madison: First of all, the husband of Dolley, the woman who was the vivacious Yang to his stick-in-the-mud Yin. She is largely credited for inventing the role of First Lady as political ally and adviser to the president. Plus, when the White House caught on fire, she personally saved the portrait of George Washington and the Star-Spangled Banner. I can see why they named that brand of cakes and baked-goods after her--do they still sell those Dolly Madison cakes, btw?
So, not only was he smart enough to marry the right kind of woman, but he is also considered the "Father of the Constitution" and the "Father of the Bill of Rights." A really great man to put in the White House. But then, the War of 1812 with the Brits... which we lost, btw (though no one really talks about that). The Brits kicked our ass. And like many of his successors, Madison's presidency was largely defined by circumstance rather than the individual.
Madison also favored Republicanism, and was a member of the Democratic-Republican party.
James Monroe: His presidency ushered in the "Era of Good Feelings," when there was a relative lack of partisan bickering. True, there was really only one party at the time, but serious differences did exist on crucial issues, like slavery, and foreign affairs. He was highly conscientious, always did his homework on the issues, and was above all pragmatic--the key to his Presidential successes. When it came time to appoint his Cabinet, he did not try to use those appointments to build his party's base. In fact, he allowed the base to decay... hence the era of good feelings--I can only hope that President #44 takes special note of that.
But he messed up with the Missouri Compromise, which allowed Missouri to enter the Union as a Slave State in exchange for Maine remaining Free. That compromise just helped set the stage for the Civil War, when that ugly white-elephant in the room, slavery, finally cleaved this nation in two (as everyone knew it would, eventually), and required a bloody civil war to resolve.
Monroe supported colonization for freed American slaves and was honored for this when the capital of Liberia, Monrovia, was named in his honor.
Here's a quote of his that seems strangely apropos these days: "It is only when the people become ignorant and corrupt, when they degenerate into a populace, that they are incapable of exercising their sovereignty. Usurpation is then an easy attainment, and an usurper soon found. The people themselves become the willing instruments of their own debasement and ruin."
All five of these men were revolutionaries, in fact and at heart, who had to figure out on their own how to actually govern once the good-fight had been fought and won. Not an easy task for any revolutionary. I wonder, though, what they would think of all the shenanigans in Washington these days...
Here's a link to the History Channel's site where you can learn more about all 43 of our Presidents: http://www.history.com/presidents
I watched this documentary on the History Channel that covered those first five. Here's what I took away:
George Washington: Not only the first President, but maybe the first Metrosexual as well. He always made sure he looked great. He liked to design uniforms for his military. He was a skilled interior designer, and fussed over the decor of Mount Vernon like a Queer-Eye-for-the-Straight-Guy. He loved to dance, and every lady clamored to dance a minuet with him. He also played a large part in the design and construction of the White House itself (which sadly, he never lived to see completed).
The key to George's success as a President (and General, for that matter): he surrounded himself with the best and brightest advisers he could find, and actually listened to what they had to say without micro-managing, never forgetting though his role as the presiding Judge-in-Chief when it came time to make the final decision. George had enough self-confidence to do that, without feeling threatened. A crucial trait in a President, imho, and one too often lacking in the Oval Office.
George also had no party affiliation. Hmm...
John Adams: The first of the Father-Son duos to occupy the White House. Harvard-educated and super-bright, he was also incredibly insecure. One minute he was on-top-of-the-world, and the next he was convinced he was complete and utter sh*t. His mood-swings were legendary. And he couldn't take criticism--too insecure, you see. Which is why he couldn't deal with the criticism he faced for his decision not to go to war against France (which historians say was a smart smart decision). And so he created the shameful Alien and Sedition Acts instead, to shut-up those who dared to criticize him. Tsk, tsk...
Adams was a Federalist. So he believed in a strong Federal Government over individual States' Rights.
Thomas Jefferson: He hated Adams, and the Federalists, and distrusted a strong Federal government. He favored Republicanism, which is not the same as Democracy. Republicanism asserts that people have inalienable rights that cannot be voted away by a majority of voters. It also rejects inherited political power (see the Bush and Adams families), expects citizens to be independent in their performance of civic duties, and is strongly opposed to corruption in government.
Except... once he got into office, he got corrupted by power, too. He worked the press, and seriously tried to keep his Sally Hemmings affair quiet (btw, Sally was the half-sister of his wife! The two shared the same father--how sick is that?). And the Louisiana Purchase was a huge assumption of Presidential power that was probably, ahem, unconstitutional. Look, the man pretty much wrote the Declaration of Independence; I'm sure he knew that what he was doing was not exactly kosher, constitutionally speaking.
His party was officially called the Democratic-Republican party.
James Madison: First of all, the husband of Dolley, the woman who was the vivacious Yang to his stick-in-the-mud Yin. She is largely credited for inventing the role of First Lady as political ally and adviser to the president. Plus, when the White House caught on fire, she personally saved the portrait of George Washington and the Star-Spangled Banner. I can see why they named that brand of cakes and baked-goods after her--do they still sell those Dolly Madison cakes, btw?
So, not only was he smart enough to marry the right kind of woman, but he is also considered the "Father of the Constitution" and the "Father of the Bill of Rights." A really great man to put in the White House. But then, the War of 1812 with the Brits... which we lost, btw (though no one really talks about that). The Brits kicked our ass. And like many of his successors, Madison's presidency was largely defined by circumstance rather than the individual.
Madison also favored Republicanism, and was a member of the Democratic-Republican party.
James Monroe: His presidency ushered in the "Era of Good Feelings," when there was a relative lack of partisan bickering. True, there was really only one party at the time, but serious differences did exist on crucial issues, like slavery, and foreign affairs. He was highly conscientious, always did his homework on the issues, and was above all pragmatic--the key to his Presidential successes. When it came time to appoint his Cabinet, he did not try to use those appointments to build his party's base. In fact, he allowed the base to decay... hence the era of good feelings--I can only hope that President #44 takes special note of that.
But he messed up with the Missouri Compromise, which allowed Missouri to enter the Union as a Slave State in exchange for Maine remaining Free. That compromise just helped set the stage for the Civil War, when that ugly white-elephant in the room, slavery, finally cleaved this nation in two (as everyone knew it would, eventually), and required a bloody civil war to resolve.
Monroe supported colonization for freed American slaves and was honored for this when the capital of Liberia, Monrovia, was named in his honor.
Here's a quote of his that seems strangely apropos these days: "It is only when the people become ignorant and corrupt, when they degenerate into a populace, that they are incapable of exercising their sovereignty. Usurpation is then an easy attainment, and an usurper soon found. The people themselves become the willing instruments of their own debasement and ruin."
All five of these men were revolutionaries, in fact and at heart, who had to figure out on their own how to actually govern once the good-fight had been fought and won. Not an easy task for any revolutionary. I wonder, though, what they would think of all the shenanigans in Washington these days...
Here's a link to the History Channel's site where you can learn more about all 43 of our Presidents: http://www.history.com/presidents
$20 DIY Universe Kit
Wondering what to get for that megalomaniacal person on your X-mas list who secretly (or not so secretly) wants to play God? How about a make-your-own-universe kit which will allow him/her to do just that and create a limitless googleplex of alternate universes and new worlds. It might also be a good antidote for existential despair--not a bad deal for $20, really.
San Francisco conceptual artist Jonathon Keats has created a $20 Do-It-Yourself Universe kit that goes on sale November 20th exclusively through Modernism Gallery in San Francisco. The kit comes packaged in a small metal tin and includes the uranium glass, scintillating crystal, and instructions so simple even "a six-year-old could assemble it in under ten minutes." Chewing gum, drinking straw, and mason jar not included (how MacGyver!).
San Francisco conceptual artist Jonathon Keats has created a $20 Do-It-Yourself Universe kit that goes on sale November 20th exclusively through Modernism Gallery in San Francisco. The kit comes packaged in a small metal tin and includes the uranium glass, scintillating crystal, and instructions so simple even "a six-year-old could assemble it in under ten minutes." Chewing gum, drinking straw, and mason jar not included (how MacGyver!).
Basically, it's a DIY kit to build your own quantum universe generator, with which you can deliberately cleave "the universe" whenever you want, creating new universes by subdividing the cosmos.
"It was a product of my anxiety," says Keats. "I'd recently had a couple museum shows, yet I was feeling that no matter what I made, it was hardly comparable to the creation of the cosmos. And though no one talks about it, the same issue faced Picasso, Monet, even Michelangelo. The Big Bang has artists beat."
Besides, Keats can't actually, well, paint. So, he studied the multiverse theory of the universe that arises from quantum mechanics instead... and used it to build this kit. As for how it actually works... oh, just go Google it yourself. Art, I can explain. Quantum Mechanics, not so much.
Here's a link to an article: http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2008/10/the-makeyourownuniverse-kit.html
VIDEO: Bill Maher Recaps Election 2008
Really funny (and smart) recap of what Maher calls, The Best Election Ever! And take note of the laughing black man on Maher's panel that they cutaway to for a few (laughing, fist-bumping) reaction shots. His name is Cornell West, and he's brilliant. He has written about the need for a 21st Century Renaissance, one that is built upon Love and Service. And I'll be blogging about it soon...
http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://rackjite.com/archives/2236%2DNew%2DRules%2Dwith%2DBill%2DMaher%2DJoe%2Dthe%2DDelusional%2DPlumber%2DOct%2D31%2C%2D2008.html
http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://rackjite.com/archives/2236%2DNew%2DRules%2Dwith%2DBill%2DMaher%2DJoe%2Dthe%2DDelusional%2DPlumber%2DOct%2D31%2C%2D2008.html
02 November 2008
Sundays with Sus--11/2
My sense of humor is coming back... and hopefully it's not of that slightly hysteria-tinged variety which precedes the nervous breakdown. Because I admit it, I'm on pins-and-needles about this election. But there are only two days left... and I've done about as much as is within my humble means and abilities to do. Except vote, that is.
And so I'm looking ahead to the future... and here's what's on my mind today:
1) What's your Superpower, America? As I see it, this clash of values unearthed by Election 2008 is largely about competing notions of what America's role in the 21st Century should be.
The collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War left America as the sole and reigning Superpower. Even though times have changed drastically, some in our country seem insistent upon clinging to that old role, because it suggests we are somehow safe from all threats, both military and economic--what do you think those hockey-game-esque chants of "USA! USA!" at the Republican National Convention were all about? Xenophobia and the Bush Doctrine of preemptive strikes play very much into that outdated notion of American supremacy.
I believe that America can maintain its role of Global leadership--in fact, I think most of the world is hungry for that. But it can't be based on military might (do y'all want to reinstate the Draft in this country? Because at the rate we're going, that's what it's going to take. And nobody likes a bully... do they). And our businesses can't continue to rest on their intellectually lazy (and lobbying) laurels, if they hope to truly compete economically with all these upstarts like China. It's going to take some vision, and all of us tapping into the greatest of America's truest resources: intelligence, creativity, boldness, and a concern for the common good.
John Cleese remarked recently on this paradox about American culture as it currently stands: In most of the world, resentment centers around wealth, and the have-nots envy and fear those who have. In our country though, it seems to be intelligence, rather than wealth, that's the seed of resentment separating the haves from the have-nots. Too many in this nation fear intelligence, and love to pooh-pooh the value of things like a high IQ and an Ivy-league education. How else could a man like Bush Jr. get elected, and twice (fer Chrissakes), simply because he was the guy everyone wanted to have a beer with. Because they were comfortable with him, because he seemed just like them...
But I, personally, don't want a President who's "just like me." He/she better be a hell of a lot smarter than I am! How else could a President possibly tackle these tremendous challenges facing us, and set the course and tone for the kind of complex policy initiatives our country so desperately needs to get us, and the world, back on track?
Because let me say this about McCain: he can be funny. Really funny. And I totally get why he was so popular once, on both sides of the aisle, as they say. He's also got this habit of being goofily honest and unguarded on occasion. A great trait in a person you have a beer with, but the kiss of death when it comes time to, say, negotiate with world leaders. Goofy does not command respect (trust me, I speak from personal experience here). Goofy ears, maybe. Goofy personality, no way.
So think on it: what's your Superpower, America? (My superpower of choice, personally, would be Invisibility--hardly a surprising choice among writers and filmmakers, who are a largely voyeuristic bunch at heart, believe me. See Hitchcock's Rear Window, for example.)
2) The winner of Election 2008 cannot say, in essence, F*ck You to the "Losers." Because the losing side will still get the vote of about 43% of the electorate, at the bare minimum. Nothing is going to get accomplished in this country if the "winners" effectively disenfranchise that 43+ percent. We need them. And our new President has to know how to get those people to the negotiating table, and set an example by accepting their 50% share of the responsibility to work together in brainstorming solutions.
That's the challenge in store for not only the next President, but for us all... when you really stop to think about it. Because the microcosm feeds the macrocosm, and the macrocosm feeds the microcosm, and so on and so on...
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone. Go have some laughs... That's what I'm going to do (which is why I'm on self-imposed no-cable-news lockdown today).
And so I'm looking ahead to the future... and here's what's on my mind today:
1) What's your Superpower, America? As I see it, this clash of values unearthed by Election 2008 is largely about competing notions of what America's role in the 21st Century should be.
The collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War left America as the sole and reigning Superpower. Even though times have changed drastically, some in our country seem insistent upon clinging to that old role, because it suggests we are somehow safe from all threats, both military and economic--what do you think those hockey-game-esque chants of "USA! USA!" at the Republican National Convention were all about? Xenophobia and the Bush Doctrine of preemptive strikes play very much into that outdated notion of American supremacy.
I believe that America can maintain its role of Global leadership--in fact, I think most of the world is hungry for that. But it can't be based on military might (do y'all want to reinstate the Draft in this country? Because at the rate we're going, that's what it's going to take. And nobody likes a bully... do they). And our businesses can't continue to rest on their intellectually lazy (and lobbying) laurels, if they hope to truly compete economically with all these upstarts like China. It's going to take some vision, and all of us tapping into the greatest of America's truest resources: intelligence, creativity, boldness, and a concern for the common good.
John Cleese remarked recently on this paradox about American culture as it currently stands: In most of the world, resentment centers around wealth, and the have-nots envy and fear those who have. In our country though, it seems to be intelligence, rather than wealth, that's the seed of resentment separating the haves from the have-nots. Too many in this nation fear intelligence, and love to pooh-pooh the value of things like a high IQ and an Ivy-league education. How else could a man like Bush Jr. get elected, and twice (fer Chrissakes), simply because he was the guy everyone wanted to have a beer with. Because they were comfortable with him, because he seemed just like them...
But I, personally, don't want a President who's "just like me." He/she better be a hell of a lot smarter than I am! How else could a President possibly tackle these tremendous challenges facing us, and set the course and tone for the kind of complex policy initiatives our country so desperately needs to get us, and the world, back on track?
Because let me say this about McCain: he can be funny. Really funny. And I totally get why he was so popular once, on both sides of the aisle, as they say. He's also got this habit of being goofily honest and unguarded on occasion. A great trait in a person you have a beer with, but the kiss of death when it comes time to, say, negotiate with world leaders. Goofy does not command respect (trust me, I speak from personal experience here). Goofy ears, maybe. Goofy personality, no way.
So think on it: what's your Superpower, America? (My superpower of choice, personally, would be Invisibility--hardly a surprising choice among writers and filmmakers, who are a largely voyeuristic bunch at heart, believe me. See Hitchcock's Rear Window, for example.)
2) The winner of Election 2008 cannot say, in essence, F*ck You to the "Losers." Because the losing side will still get the vote of about 43% of the electorate, at the bare minimum. Nothing is going to get accomplished in this country if the "winners" effectively disenfranchise that 43+ percent. We need them. And our new President has to know how to get those people to the negotiating table, and set an example by accepting their 50% share of the responsibility to work together in brainstorming solutions.
That's the challenge in store for not only the next President, but for us all... when you really stop to think about it. Because the microcosm feeds the macrocosm, and the macrocosm feeds the microcosm, and so on and so on...
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone. Go have some laughs... That's what I'm going to do (which is why I'm on self-imposed no-cable-news lockdown today).
VIDEO: Election 2008 In A Nutshell
Election 2008 has been a long and bumpy ride... which is why it was nice to see this one-minute recap of all the zany follies and foibles. I believe this is what the experts call "closure"...
Unless I wake up November 5th and hear some phrase that even remotely reminds me of that infamous phrase, "hanging chads"... In which case, this blogger just may end up matching a box of Fruit Loops, loop for fruity loop...
See the video recap here: http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.236.com/video/2008/watch%5Fpresidential%5Fcampaign%5Fin%5F9955.php
Unless I wake up November 5th and hear some phrase that even remotely reminds me of that infamous phrase, "hanging chads"... In which case, this blogger just may end up matching a box of Fruit Loops, loop for fruity loop...
See the video recap here: http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.236.com/video/2008/watch%5Fpresidential%5Fcampaign%5Fin%5F9955.php
01 November 2008
AUDIO: Palin Gets Pranked by The Masked Avengers
I don't even know what to say. My mouth is literally hanging open as I listen again to the audio of Sarah Palin getting prank-called today by a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy. He actually had her going for almost 7 minutes(!), until he informed her that she was being Punk'd.
It's like listening to the ditsiest of cheerleaders trying to have a conversation with, well, the President of France! It's... just... Oh my god, just go listen to it.
And if you're even thinking of voting McPain, this will change your mind in a flash. If it doesn't, I swear I'll throttle you. Because McCain is 72 years old, people! You cannot unleash Sarah Palin on the world. Period.
[And as an aside, can I just say that my parents are actually two years younger than McCain, and trust me, you do not want them answering that "3AM call" on the red Bat-Phone! At that hour, it takes them a good ten minutes before the brain fog even begins to lift. Just think on that...]
http://digg.com/political_opinion/Audio_of_Sarah_Palin_Prank_Call_by_the_Masked_Avengers
It's like listening to the ditsiest of cheerleaders trying to have a conversation with, well, the President of France! It's... just... Oh my god, just go listen to it.
And if you're even thinking of voting McPain, this will change your mind in a flash. If it doesn't, I swear I'll throttle you. Because McCain is 72 years old, people! You cannot unleash Sarah Palin on the world. Period.
[And as an aside, can I just say that my parents are actually two years younger than McCain, and trust me, you do not want them answering that "3AM call" on the red Bat-Phone! At that hour, it takes them a good ten minutes before the brain fog even begins to lift. Just think on that...]
http://digg.com/political_opinion/Audio_of_Sarah_Palin_Prank_Call_by_the_Masked_Avengers
"The Second City" Rising...
I just read a piece called Who You Calling The Second City?, written by Scott Turow (another ex-Lawyer who ultimately chose writing over the law). It confirms what my gut has already been sensing lately about Chicago, my old hometown: that it may be ready, finally, to seize the mantle of The First City.
Like a lot of ex-pats from that town, I fled to the coasts (first NYC and then L.A.), favoring the media capitals over the heart of the "real" America. I, too, bought into the notion that Chicago was somehow less, in every way that mattered. Even though I've never forgotten that SNL was birthed from Second City, the longest-running comedy and improvisational-theater troupe, which is based in Chicago's Old Town neighborhood. In fact, since its debut in 1959, Second City has consistently been the breeding ground for many of the best comedians, actors, directors, and others in Show Biz--where do you think SNL got the likes of John Belushi, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Gilda Radner from? John Candy and Eugene Levy are (were) also Second City Alums.
See, I've long had this theory: that our country is in many ways reliving the Seventies--a highly unpopular War, the oil crisis, a disgraced President, and a time when the NBA Finals were dominated by the LA Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Here's some history, straight from Second City's website, that seems to back up my theory:
"The Seventies: Brother Disco ruled. Side burns grew. President Nixon denied involvement in a scandal, and there was turmoil in the Middle East. The Seventies were a time of great change at The Second City. Long hair and blue jeans appeared on stage at the theater for the first time, adopted by a group of actors self-titled "The Next Generation". This group included new voices such as Harold Ramis and John Belushi. By the mid-Seventies The Second City's reputation soared with the debut of a new television show that featured several SC alums. That show was Saturday Night Live and things have never been quite the same."
No wonder, then, that this has been the season when SNL really got its mojo back. (Palin's a pickle... but wow, is she ever a wealth of comic riches, or what.) There's a cultural war being staged in this country--or at least a time when this nation has reached, or is nearing, the point of critical mass. Call it a cultural tipping point, if you will. And in such times, pay special attention to the Artists, comic and otherwise, and what those voices have to say.
In the political arena, the Obama candidacy just may prove to be the impetus for Chicago's rise. As Turow points out in his piece:
"The president’s home city and state traditionally prosper from added attention and influence, as well as the influx of visitors inspired by curiosity about our nation’s leader. More important, Barack has already signaled that Chicago will also be America’s political center. In June, the candidate-designate merged the Democratic National Committee into his own campaign apparatus and officially moved the DNC to Chicago. The decision produced not only a more efficient and less rivalrous organization, but it also, in some eyes, deepened the political insight. Roland Martin, the esteemed radio host and CNN political commentator, credits Obama’s decision to move the Democratic National Committee to Chicago as one of the key factors in keeping his campaign in touch with the “real” America, by removing campaign officials from the barrage of conventional wisdom absorbed in the media capitals and the beltway. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. As president, Obama’s political apparatus is virtually certain to stay here."
An Obama presidency may also be that extra edge which convinces the International Olympic Committee to host the 2016 Summer Olympics in Chicago--Tokyo, Rio and Madrid are the three others on the short-list. And as you may have read in one of my earlier posts, Obama will be at Grant Park (named after Ulysses S. Grant) in Chicago on Election Night, where projections say he'll be joined by as many as 1 million of his supporters. Fittingly, Illinois was also the home state of Abraham Lincoln (a Republican, I might add). Old Abe and General Grant and most everyone, really--I think we'd all love to see the 21st Century version of a Norman Rockwell painting. And if (IF) Obama wins, that picture may very well be painted against the backdrop of Grant Park in Chicago.
Currently, we are all living in a 51 vs 49 percent nation--and it hasn't worked. The main selling point for an Obama presidency, imho, is that it offers the promise of a 62 to 38 percent working-majority (I hope, I hope). We all need to meet in the middle. And where better to meet than in the Capital of the Middle: Chicago, Illinois.
Historically, Chicago has had such a chip on its shoulder... and excels at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (I am very much a product of my hometown, it seems. Sigh). But as Turow puts it: "[E]ven the most hard-bitten Chicagoans have to see very good times on the horizon."
Like a lot of ex-pats from that town, I fled to the coasts (first NYC and then L.A.), favoring the media capitals over the heart of the "real" America. I, too, bought into the notion that Chicago was somehow less, in every way that mattered. Even though I've never forgotten that SNL was birthed from Second City, the longest-running comedy and improvisational-theater troupe, which is based in Chicago's Old Town neighborhood. In fact, since its debut in 1959, Second City has consistently been the breeding ground for many of the best comedians, actors, directors, and others in Show Biz--where do you think SNL got the likes of John Belushi, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Gilda Radner from? John Candy and Eugene Levy are (were) also Second City Alums.
See, I've long had this theory: that our country is in many ways reliving the Seventies--a highly unpopular War, the oil crisis, a disgraced President, and a time when the NBA Finals were dominated by the LA Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Here's some history, straight from Second City's website, that seems to back up my theory:
"The Seventies: Brother Disco ruled. Side burns grew. President Nixon denied involvement in a scandal, and there was turmoil in the Middle East. The Seventies were a time of great change at The Second City. Long hair and blue jeans appeared on stage at the theater for the first time, adopted by a group of actors self-titled "The Next Generation". This group included new voices such as Harold Ramis and John Belushi. By the mid-Seventies The Second City's reputation soared with the debut of a new television show that featured several SC alums. That show was Saturday Night Live and things have never been quite the same."
No wonder, then, that this has been the season when SNL really got its mojo back. (Palin's a pickle... but wow, is she ever a wealth of comic riches, or what.) There's a cultural war being staged in this country--or at least a time when this nation has reached, or is nearing, the point of critical mass. Call it a cultural tipping point, if you will. And in such times, pay special attention to the Artists, comic and otherwise, and what those voices have to say.
In the political arena, the Obama candidacy just may prove to be the impetus for Chicago's rise. As Turow points out in his piece:
"The president’s home city and state traditionally prosper from added attention and influence, as well as the influx of visitors inspired by curiosity about our nation’s leader. More important, Barack has already signaled that Chicago will also be America’s political center. In June, the candidate-designate merged the Democratic National Committee into his own campaign apparatus and officially moved the DNC to Chicago. The decision produced not only a more efficient and less rivalrous organization, but it also, in some eyes, deepened the political insight. Roland Martin, the esteemed radio host and CNN political commentator, credits Obama’s decision to move the Democratic National Committee to Chicago as one of the key factors in keeping his campaign in touch with the “real” America, by removing campaign officials from the barrage of conventional wisdom absorbed in the media capitals and the beltway. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. As president, Obama’s political apparatus is virtually certain to stay here."
An Obama presidency may also be that extra edge which convinces the International Olympic Committee to host the 2016 Summer Olympics in Chicago--Tokyo, Rio and Madrid are the three others on the short-list. And as you may have read in one of my earlier posts, Obama will be at Grant Park (named after Ulysses S. Grant) in Chicago on Election Night, where projections say he'll be joined by as many as 1 million of his supporters. Fittingly, Illinois was also the home state of Abraham Lincoln (a Republican, I might add). Old Abe and General Grant and most everyone, really--I think we'd all love to see the 21st Century version of a Norman Rockwell painting. And if (IF) Obama wins, that picture may very well be painted against the backdrop of Grant Park in Chicago.
Currently, we are all living in a 51 vs 49 percent nation--and it hasn't worked. The main selling point for an Obama presidency, imho, is that it offers the promise of a 62 to 38 percent working-majority (I hope, I hope). We all need to meet in the middle. And where better to meet than in the Capital of the Middle: Chicago, Illinois.
Historically, Chicago has had such a chip on its shoulder... and excels at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (I am very much a product of my hometown, it seems. Sigh). But as Turow puts it: "[E]ven the most hard-bitten Chicagoans have to see very good times on the horizon."
This blogger just may be heading home to Chicago soon… Because the time seems right. Finally.
Read Scott Turow's piece here: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-31/chicago-power/1/
VIDEO: Nader & Obama Girl Team Up To Say: Let the People Decide
That Obama Girl... she sure does get around. But I like the message of this video: We the People say Let the People Decide. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4nIpvhlgpo
And here's a link to a very retro B&W Obama ad attacking McCain's robo-calls. An urbane President with a witty sense of humor... so refreshing, really, and just what our country needs in times like these. It's called, Robots Attack!, and you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg56KbtmARc
But if you really want to laugh out loud (at least I did), check out this video from David Alan Grier. His message? Play It Cool, my Brother, Play It Cool...
http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml%3FvideoId=189876%26title=be%2Dcool%2C%2Dblack%2Dpeople
And here's a link to a very retro B&W Obama ad attacking McCain's robo-calls. An urbane President with a witty sense of humor... so refreshing, really, and just what our country needs in times like these. It's called, Robots Attack!, and you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg56KbtmARc
But if you really want to laugh out loud (at least I did), check out this video from David Alan Grier. His message? Play It Cool, my Brother, Play It Cool...
http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml%3FvideoId=189876%26title=be%2Dcool%2C%2Dblack%2Dpeople
Don't Be a "Mickey Mouse" at the Polls...
This is actually an earlier post of mine that I'm reposting, in case you haven't read it already.
***********************************************************
You'd think after 230 years, the system would have figured out how to handle this year's voter turnout. Because in theory, all citizens should be voting, yes? And we're only in the early stages of early voting right now...
If you're voting early, please keep this in mind: you have the right to ask for an Emergency Paper Ballot, in the event you face some of the clusterf*ck at the polls that many in the press are already up-in-arms about.
And if you vote, check your completed ballot before you "turn it in." Do not, I repeat do not, just assume that the machine or whatever got it right. I've only seen a clip of that Simpsons episode when Homer has trouble in the voting booth with that touch-screen that keeps saying he's voted for McCain when he was trying to vote for Obama. But CNN, among others, has reported stories of voters saying this has actually happened to them. If anything seems not right to you, tell a poll worker immediately. And nobody wants to hear the phrase "hanging chads" ever again... Right?
And take a cue from those poor Seniors in Florida (some of whom were begging for chairs when forced to stand on line for hours and hours) who persevered and managed to vote. If Grammy and Gramps can stick it out, so can you.
Also, you may want to leave your Campaign gear at home--T-shirts, buttons, etc. Because the state of Virginia, I just learned on CNN/MSNBC, will not let you set foot inside their polling places if you are wearing/displaying such gear. Virginia says those people can still vote, they just have to change, or turn their T-shirts inside out, or whatever, first. If Virginia can say that, then...
Also, Virginia, specifically Montgomery County, has been spreading misinformation to college students there, telling them they'll lose their scholarships if they vote locally where they go to school. Not true. In addition, attempts (allegedly) to suppress the college student vote are happening nationwide, and not just in Virginia.
As a last resort, please demand a Provisional Ballot, if you are denied at the polls for any reason. This election should be about a Margin of Victory. But it may, once again, be about the Margin of Litigation (See Florida 2000). If history repeats itself, your vote will at least be recorded on that Provisional Ballot, for the lawyers and courts to sort out afterwards.
(exhale) OK, now go vote. Please. And you can call CNN's Voter (Fraud/Suppression) Hotline should any problems or questions arise. The number is (877) GOCNN08, or (877) 462-6608. CNN has set up this hotline to "keep them honest" at the polls. And CNN reports voting irregularities as they happen, to help keep voting honest for all our sakes. So these "kinks" can hopefully be worked out by Election Day in November.
You can also raise any questions and concerns you may have to 1-(866) OUR-VOTE. And here's a link to a good site set up to help voters enter the voting booth informed: http://www.866ourvote.org/newsroom/news?id=0043
***********************************************************
You'd think after 230 years, the system would have figured out how to handle this year's voter turnout. Because in theory, all citizens should be voting, yes? And we're only in the early stages of early voting right now...
If you're voting early, please keep this in mind: you have the right to ask for an Emergency Paper Ballot, in the event you face some of the clusterf*ck at the polls that many in the press are already up-in-arms about.
And if you vote, check your completed ballot before you "turn it in." Do not, I repeat do not, just assume that the machine or whatever got it right. I've only seen a clip of that Simpsons episode when Homer has trouble in the voting booth with that touch-screen that keeps saying he's voted for McCain when he was trying to vote for Obama. But CNN, among others, has reported stories of voters saying this has actually happened to them. If anything seems not right to you, tell a poll worker immediately. And nobody wants to hear the phrase "hanging chads" ever again... Right?
And take a cue from those poor Seniors in Florida (some of whom were begging for chairs when forced to stand on line for hours and hours) who persevered and managed to vote. If Grammy and Gramps can stick it out, so can you.
Also, you may want to leave your Campaign gear at home--T-shirts, buttons, etc. Because the state of Virginia, I just learned on CNN/MSNBC, will not let you set foot inside their polling places if you are wearing/displaying such gear. Virginia says those people can still vote, they just have to change, or turn their T-shirts inside out, or whatever, first. If Virginia can say that, then...
Also, Virginia, specifically Montgomery County, has been spreading misinformation to college students there, telling them they'll lose their scholarships if they vote locally where they go to school. Not true. In addition, attempts (allegedly) to suppress the college student vote are happening nationwide, and not just in Virginia.
As a last resort, please demand a Provisional Ballot, if you are denied at the polls for any reason. This election should be about a Margin of Victory. But it may, once again, be about the Margin of Litigation (See Florida 2000). If history repeats itself, your vote will at least be recorded on that Provisional Ballot, for the lawyers and courts to sort out afterwards.
(exhale) OK, now go vote. Please. And you can call CNN's Voter (Fraud/Suppression) Hotline should any problems or questions arise. The number is (877) GOCNN08, or (877) 462-6608. CNN has set up this hotline to "keep them honest" at the polls. And CNN reports voting irregularities as they happen, to help keep voting honest for all our sakes. So these "kinks" can hopefully be worked out by Election Day in November.
You can also raise any questions and concerns you may have to 1-(866) OUR-VOTE. And here's a link to a good site set up to help voters enter the voting booth informed: http://www.866ourvote.org/newsroom/news?id=0043
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