Deconstructing O'bama: Part I

That's not a typo, btw: the apostrophe after the "O" in "O'bama" was intentional. Because it highlights this freaky thing about Obama: he's like a walking United Nations, seriously. "Obama" is, in fact, the name of his Kenyan father. But add an apostrophe, and suddenly it could be Irish! It sounds Muslim. But in Japan, it means "little beach."

And just look at that man's face: he could be African/Insert-any-race-creed-color-here. And he has the ears of a Bush(!) And have you ever compared Obama's face to Tiger Woods'? Look at that... they could pass for brothers... or at least cousins, right? And they're both into that crisp-whites-and-khaki-pants thing, clearly.




But Tiger is African/Asian American. Obama is African/Caucasian American. And which "side" gets to "claim him," anyway--either of them. Because, I know that Asian Americans of my parents' generation love their golf, and therefore their Tiger, and can talk for hours about how Tiger's Asian half is really responsible for his athletic brilliance... which would probably make his African half laugh out loud. That's the freaky thing about Barack, though, and the reason why (I suspect) people so want him to embody their very hopes and dreams. Everyone wants a piece of him--it's always that way with "Stars." Everyone can see a piece of themselves in him. He's an ideal white-screen for the "projections" (to use psycho-speak) of others. That's why he's "money." And I say, project away y'all... But I'm telling you, that man knows who he is, and what he's about. And something tells me that sort of thing has been happening to him his whole life... and he knows by now what to do with it. That's my take, anyway.

And you know who else he resembles, imho? Bobby Fischer. And whoever Bobby had in his pit-crew. Because that campaign was, like, Chess Master, and always several steps ahead of its opponent... That would certainly explain why the Obama campaign never lost its cool: because if "Bobby" knows he's already anticipated every permutation of your next ten possible moves... well, he wouldn't exactly be sweating it now, would he. That's why I'm expecting, and looking forward to hearing the Obama six-point-plan. On everything. That's the kind of Warren-Buffet-esque fuddy-duddy he really is... so don't let that movie-star smile fool you.

That's all for now. I'll put Barack back "on the couch" in the future... when the mood to deconstruct strikes me. Frankly, in my humble opinion every President should be put on the couch... before we hire him/her.


P.S. I was also just thinking that we have such a love/hate, push/pull relationship with the French. We really do. And sometimes, the French love to sit around at the cafe acting all been-there-done-that and full of existential ennui... and critique the actions of the U.S.... But no country loves it more when the United States gets all Declaration-of-Independence-y about itself--we did get those lofty, all-men-are-created-equal ideals from their philosophers and intellectuals, after all. They're usually the first to jump to our aid when we're like that. And they're usually the ones to copy us first when we manage to pull off something they wish they had pulled off.

Which is why I just know there's some David-Axelrod-wannabe politico in France right now, starting the search for France's answer to Barack Obama...